Monday, August 23, 2010

Six Billion to One

Wow, he really loves me.

I got an email from Vernon today letting me know that he's trying blogging again.  I was thinking maybe it was about technology or just life in general, but I come to find that his post was all about me.

Then I was thinking, Oh how nice. He's blogging about how we met, the whole time line, our story, just the facts. Boy was I wrong.

I know he loves he. I've known this for many years. I don't doubt his love and I trust him completely, I always have. But reading his blog entry today felt as if he was telling me he loved me for the first time. I had butterflies in my stomach, my face got red and felt hot, and I cried. I will never be as romantic or eloquent as Vernon, and I sometimes wonder if I make him feel as special and loved as he makes me feel.

There are days when I think that I may wake up from this wonderful dream, because it just can't be possible to feel this kind of love for and from someone. If everyone had this kind of love, there would be no more war, no more crimes, no more hate.

Wow. He really really loves me.


"So it comes down to Numbers.
Two People in a World of over Six Billion,
Two People 3710 Miles apart,
Ten years together and going strong....
...and one very lucky Guy!"

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

"Proceed at Your Own Risk"

 I'm still on the lookout for a long distance relationship as long as ours. I want to hear their story. I guess I'm just curious. I tried searching Guinness World Records, but they don't have an ldr category. I even went as far as to put in a request for a world record with this new suggested category. They are not interested, and the public is not interested, nor did they send me any information on any other record breaking ldr's to satisfy my curiosity. Below is the final sentence in the rejection email they sent me. It made me chuckle.
"As your record application has not been accepted, Guinness World Records is in no way associated with the activity relating to your record proposal and we in no way endorse this activity. If you choose to proceed with this activity then this will be of your own volition and at your own risk."
 Ha ha! Did they even read my entry? Must be some sort of general disclaimer so they can't be sued by people doing dumb-ass stunts for the sake of doing a dumb-ass stunt. I guess the public is interested in the creepy and disgusting freak show stuff, heaven forbid if it's remotely heartfelt. Although during my Googling adventures I did see "Biggest Teddy Bear Collection", REALLY???? UGH.

I think I'll give up looking and just assume that Vernon and I are the holders of such a prestigious record. SO AS OF NOW, I OFFICIALLY DECLARE US THE KING AND QUEEN OF LDR'S! LOL

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Chatting with Vernon today.

Vern: i say good morning to you every morning
Vern: i have the photo of us that you gave to me on my wall next to my bed
Kimberly: you are so romantic
Kimberly:  (blushing smiley)
Vern: well i love you

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Long Distance Relationship Q&A

The site that I am a member of, www.lovingfromadistance.com, has a facebook page. Lately they have been posting a couple questions per day. I have had fun answering them so I thought I would post my answers here.

Q: What guilty pleasure do you have from being in a long distance relationship? (ldr)
A:  I don't have to shave my legs if I don't want to.

Q: Name one thing you like about where your bf lives.
A: The English. I don't know if it's a country wide trait or if it's just a trait the people in the southwest have but everyone makes me feel welcome and they are so very friendly. I'd also have to say that when I visit, it's usually in March/April so here I'm leaving behind blizzards and ice storms and arriving into beautiful weather where there are yellow daffodils EVERYWHERE. When I see yellow daffodils, I think of England.  

Q: What is the last negative thing someone said regarding your bf or your ldr?
A: Well, anyone that knows Vernon would never have anything negative to say about him. He's that kind of man. I do recall an incident where a male friend of mine insisted I was being too naive to assume that Vernon wouldn't be out having sex with other women, because that's what men do, they need sex and they cheat. When he said that to me, all I could feel was sorry for him because he'll never know what it's like to love and trust someone the way we do.

Q: What keeps you and your bf in an ldr?
A: Our kids. He has 2, I have one. We are both single parents and both decided to continue to put our children first. My daughter, and his oldest are only 2 weeks apart. As they go off to school or move out to become independent adults, Vernon and I will think more about our future together and close this long distance gap.

Q: If a novel is written about your ldr, what would the title be?
A: I'm having trouble thinking of one, but when I do I will edit this post and add it. I asked this of Vernon too to see what he would say and he wasn't very helpful either. (Thanks Honey!) :)

Q:How and when did you first tell your bf "I love you"?
A: Wow, I don't remember. Does that make me a bad girlfriend? I'm sure we had to be conversing for at least a year because long before the time that we met in person (2 years) we were in love with each other. I have also been signing letters and emails "Yours Forever" for as long as I can remember. Honey, if you remember the specific "event" please refresh my memory because I would like to know.

Valentine's day 2010. Those heart shaped boxes are full of candy, chocolate and cookies!
Q: Who is more romantic?
A: He is, just when I think I have him figured out and know what to expect, he surprises the crap outta me!



Q: If you could take a snapshot of the mood of your relationship right NOW, describe what it would be in one word.
A: At the time of this question, it was Tuesday, August 3 @ 3:40pm. SERIOUS; we were chatting about taxes, school, kids and work via IM, as noted in my last post.

Q: What was the last holiday or special occasion that you had to spend apart? How did you share that special day together?
A: It was Heidi's graduation. This was a big day not only for her but for me too. High School graduation is a major step in someones life and we both worked really hard to get here. She's been accepted to several Universities but will be attending Western Michigan University, and on a 4 year tuition scholarship. Without that scholarship, she would not be going to college. I wanted Vernon and the kids here. They needed to be here, but asking 3 people to cross 3,500 miles of ocean is not very practical. Instead, Vernon and I went in together and got Heidi a netbook computer. I took several pictures of graduation, her opening the gift and the graduation party so he wouldn't feel like he missed everything.

 
Q: How many relationships have you been in? Is your ldr longer than any of those relationships?
A: I married my first relationship. We met and were divorced within 3 years. Vernon and I met 5 years later and have been together for nearly 11 years.

Q: What was your first impression when you first met your bf?
A: After about a year  we finally exchanged pictures. I had already fallen in love and I didn't know what he looked like.When I saw his picture for the first time I began to cry. His photo was amazing, so handsome and adorable. I thought there is no way he will ever love me, I'm not pretty, especially not enough for him.

A: "CLASH" That's funny because we are opposite in so many areas, which is why I think we compliment each other so well.








Q: What do you disagree on?
A: I insist that "pants" are in fact pants, not underwear. I can't bring myself to say "trousers". That is a creepy old man word.

Q: On your first night out to eat together, do you remember what you ordered?
A: He had steak. I may have had chicken, I don't remember. I was so nervous. We were at a bar and grill in downtown Chicago.

Q: If you could travel back in time before you met your bf, what advice would you give yourself?
A: Enroll in a frequent flier plan NOW!

Q: How would you handle it if your bf cheated on you? If it happened long distance, would the distance make it more difficult to regain trust?
A: I don't know what I would do. I've never thought about it because it's something I've never worried about. We both have been hurt in the past.

Q: What is the preferred mode of transportation to visit your bf? How long does it take for you to get there?
A: 4 hours by car to bus station, 2 hours to airport by bus then about 12 hours of flying not including layovers. I go over 24 hours without sleep, but it's well worth it.

Q: Have you ever hid or avoided talking about your ldr to avoid embarrassment or criticism?
A: Yes. People react like it's odd that I'm in a long distance relationship, that we met online and that it's been so long and that it's stupid that I haven't moved there already. I actually had one male friend tell me that I was stupid and naive to think that he wasn't going out and having sex with other women and cheating on me. "Men need sex and that is what they do." I felt sorry for him that he will never know what it's actually like to love and trust someone the way that Vernon and I do.

Q: Do you have nicknames for each other?
A: I call him Honey or Sweetheart. He calls me Sexy Chicken! I love the way he says "Darling" too.

Q: What one thing do you cherish most from your bf?
A: Years ago he sent me a cross necklace. I loved it. Was stolen when we had our break in a year ago, but I'll never forget it.

Q: How many days have you been with your bf?
A: As of 7/27/2010 3pm - 3,964 days.

Q: If you were offered a free life sized cut out of your bf would you accept it?
A: YES! I love looking at him.

Q: What was the last thing you or your bf sent each other in the mail?
A: Postcards. I got them to cheer him up and sent them quite often.

Q: Where is your dream vacation spot?
A: We've always wanted to go somewhere hot and sandy.


Q: How many people do you know who are in an ldr?
A: None

Q: If you could have only 24 hours with your bf, how would you spend your time together?
A: Tee Hee.... next question...

Q: How many visits have you had with your bf? Which one is the most memorable?
A: Six visits totaling 11 weeks in the last 10 years, 10months. Our very first visit in Chicago is the most memorable for me.

Q: Name one thing that makes your bf more special than anyone.
A: He accepts everything about me, doesn't try to change me, and brings the best out of me. I never feel like I have to prove myself or try to make him happy.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Practical Conversations

Vernon and I are in a long distance relationship.  Not only are we in a long distance relationship, we have been in this ldr for nearly 11 years.  Our looks have changed, our personalities have changed, our kids have grown and our conversations have evolved.  We usually chat around my lunch hour or while I'm working so there are a lot of pauses due to me multi-tasking. I often have important things to discuss with Vernon because I talk to him before making any major decisions regarding anything and when I need advice on a challenge I am facing. He is my logical thinker, he knows me better than anyone else, and I trust him completely. His input is important to me as he is very intelligent and straight forward. He is honest and I love that about him. Today we were discussing taxes, credit cards, our next 2 visits and work.

Vernon was talking about his council taxes. I had no clue what that meant so I asked.  He explained something to me that resembled city property taxes. I pay rent, always have, so I've never directly had to pay property taxes, although my rent pays the taxes for the house I live in. I found that to be interesting, it's set up a little differently over there. I'd like to know more about it but today was not the day.

We also talked about credit cards. He and I share different opinions about them, his more conservative than mine, and I didn't like what he said to me, but he was being honest. We don't have to agree on everything. I hate money, I don't have enough to pay my basic bills, I have a truck to fix and I need to see the Dr. but I have more than a lot of people so I shouldn't complain.

I really want Vern to come out with his daughter, she wants to see America and I want to show her a wonderful time here, but we just don't have the money. I suggested he send her alone, but she's still a bit young and has never traveled before. He suggested I visit early 2011. I'd love to do the Christmas trip again, but not without my girl, and we can't afford 2 adults so that would mean she would have to save her money and she wont be working that many hours. So.... I'm not sure yet.  We are also planning a trip in 2012, our friends are getting married in Bristol, UK. I'm planning this trip alone, if my daughter sticks to her plan, she'll be in Australia by then. Vernon said he doesn't want to wait until 2012 to see me, and I don't want to wait either. Right now flights are super cheap, I want to nail something down soon.

We always ask each other about work. We both have challenges that we are faced with every day, him more than me. I love my job, but it can be overwhelming at times. There are days when I can't wait until I talk to him so I can tell him how I've been kickin' butt and days when I need to talk to him because I don't think I can do this anymore... he always tells me how talented and smart I am and gets me out of those ruts. I hope I'm able to do the same for him when he's frustrated with his job.

I love these talks that we have, even though we weren't very lovey dovey, we never forget to tell the other "I love you". Couples need to have these discussions in addition to the mushy ones, I think that's what makes us a serious couple. We aren't in fantasy land and have our feet on the ground, however when we are together those 2 weeks every couple of years our feet don't really touch the ground until it's time to go home. I have to say this about him, he is very disciplined when it comes to money, and if he managed mine I'd probably be in a better situation. When we were wrapping up our conversation he said to me, "I'll let you know when I win the lottery" and I replied, "Me too". That would be sweet wouldn't it?

Sunday, August 1, 2010

The end of a fabulous shopping trip

The stupid alarm clock is buzzing and buzzing so loudly! I can't find the snooze button no matter what I hit. It took me forever to set the alarm the night before so that I would wake up with the soft gentle sounds of music in the morning and not wake up Kim, well, that didn't happen.  I felt terrible. Last night I asked her what time she wanted to wake up and she told me 6:30, so I set the alarm for 6. Stupid ass alarm clock. Well, we got an early start, had breakfast although from the way we stuffed our faces the night before, I wasn't hungry for much. Now is when I start thinking about how much fun I had, and it wasn't where I was or what I was doing, it was who I was with. I really wasn't looking forward to taking her back to Grand Rapids but I really couldn't kidnap her could I? The drive back was fun, again we didn't run out of anything to talk about. We also got to pass through the Village of Vernon. Kim and I stopped to take a pic and couldn't stop laughing.
The entire time I was with Kim I could be myself and we talked about all sorts of topics, topics we agreed on and topics we didn't agree on and it was all good.  I missed her before actually meeting her in person, and now that I've met her I miss her so unbelievably much. I hope that she had as much fun as I did and that she felt comfortable around me. I owe a lot to my sister for helping me make this a super shopping trip for Kim, and it was awesome seeing her and my beautiful niece.

My blog is mainly dedicated to my long distance relationship with my best friend and partner Vernon, but these last three posts are dedicated to Kim, my wonderful dear friend with whom I have had a long distance friendship for a little over a year.  She's been on the second half of her vacation here in the states so I haven't heard from her since I dropped her off last week, but I'm so excited to see her online again and to see photos and hear about the rest of her trip.

I had the pleasure of meeting her boyfriend, and he is simply charming. Very nice looking, great smile, and obviously so good to Kim. It was fun sitting in our hotel room with our bottles of Mike's Hard Lemonade talking about "boys". We are both very lucky girls.  I look forward to the day when she can meet Vernon. I know he will just adore Kim and vice versa. Kim, I'm really going to miss you, I've got tears in my eyes writing this but I know we'll be friends forever and that makes me really happy!