Saturday, July 10, 2010

There is missing you and then there is MISSING YOU.

Things have been crazy busy for me this summer getting the kid ready for college.  First it's a full weekend of graduation and then the party 4 hours from home.  Then we had to make a trip down to fabulous Kalamazoo for a 2 day orientation, with 2 days of travel and an extra day for just hanging out.  It gets expensive and I'm using up my vacation time pretty quick.  I don't remember to check my email or even log on to the computer because I'm out of my normal routine.  The norm is chatting nearly every day with Vernon, sending occasional emails and Facebook or Picassa updates. When I'm away from the computer, It's as if I've left him behind.  I miss him in a different way.  I don't know how to explain it.  We joke about the day when we are finally united and we wont know how to function together.  He'll get home from work and sit down at the computer and I'll be in the next room on another computer and we'll chat to each other.  Crazy, I know. My recent adventures have been so jam packed with information, excitement, stress, and interesting stuff.  This thing with me being a parent of a high school graduate is new to me, I need Vernon to help me cope and celebrate, but I'm not even logged into the computer.  I always tell him before I go anywhere.  We made a promise to each other that we would not avoid logging into the computer for more than 3 days no matter if we are upset with each other (which has never happened, I don't think) or if we are busy.  When I didn't hear from Vernon for 3 days, I worried.  I've worried things like he's mad at me, he's sick, he's had an accident, all the worst... I'm a worrier.  It's always the work schedule, he has a demanding job.  When his job is extra demanding, I'll get a quick short email just saying that he loves me, and I'm happy with that.  I want him to take care of himself, I want him to give his kids the attention that they need, I want him to be happy and not worry about me, but I do need to hear that he is still alive if it's going to be 3 days.  Today is Friday, he's usually there on Fridays.  But... work has been tough, he's had a recent minor injury and I know his son is coming home for a visit sometime soon, so I'm not worried. Well, I worry about his injury, but I know overall he's fine.  I'll try calling him Sunday afternoon (evening his time) and if he's not in, we'll catch up on Monday as he usually does after a long weekend of no contact.  I constantly miss him, but I miss him in a different way when we don't communicate for several days.

It's amazing how he can read my mood just from chatting.  With all the stress of getting the kid ready for school, I've been very emotional and moody. Sometimes we are both moody and tired which makes for a very brief and uneventful conversation.  We don't fight, we just don't say very much.  The last time we chatted, he was extra attentive.  It was wonderful.  He was unusually talkative, flirty, spunky.  I liked it.  I needed that. He picked up my crappy mood and made me smile.  He's very intuitive to my needs and feelings and this is over the computer.  Whew, I'm babbling and falling asleep. I'll try to post more often, things are so crazy for me right now.  Have a great weekend!

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like you're going through a ton of stuff! Congrats to your kid for graduating!

    ReplyDelete

Vernon and I are in a long distance marriage which started out as a long distance relationship for 14 years. I would love for you to leave a comment on my blog post.