Vernon has been off of work all week. He's around to chat most of the day, we Skype when I wake up in the morning and we Skype when I get home from work until the wee hours of the morning for him. I love the extra time "together". We've been talking about silly things, we've been talking about serious things, and sometimes we just sit there and look at each other. When it's time to say goodbye I get very sad and stressed. I just want him here. Tuesday morning I had physical therapy. I woke up early and was tearful and sad. I really didn't have a reason for it. I was on the verge of tears throughout my therapy appointment and then began crying toward the end because I couldn't step up with my bad leg. The poor Dr. thought he made me cry but it wasn't that. I spent the day fighting tears or hiding in the bathroom at work when I couldn't hold it back any longer. Wednesday morning I woke up and Vernon and I had a Skype call. He teases me because I have trouble waking up. We had a nice time talking and then we chatted throughout the day. When I got home I was sad and tired and just wanted to go to bed and watch Netflix or something. I then started missing Vern and began to cry. The crying just got worse, it's the kind of crying where my entire head was stuffed, my nose was running and every time I swallowed my ears would pop. I couldn't stop. I missed Vernon so much. This went off and on for a few hours. There was a pain in the middle of my chest and I felt sick so I didn't have any dinner. I cried until I was finally able to fall asleep. Thursday morning was therapy again but I was able to Skype with Vernon after work. My eyes were puffy and burned all day from crying the night before. After we hung up it happened again, but I only cried for about 15 minutes. I wasn't going to eat, but I told Vernon I wouldn't skip dinner tonight so I made myself some hot dogs. He really doesn't like it when I skip meals. Friday morning I got to wake up to Vernon again, and then after work we were on Skype again till Vernon's eyes were glazed over from his lager and lack of sleep. I love the way he looks when he's sleepy. He's so cute. Friday was a tremendous day, lots of good things happened and I was not sad anymore.
I love Vernon. I know he loves me. He makes me feel so special, beautiful, wanted, happy and loved, but I still feel sad at times. I will never regret the decision we made to have a long distance relationship because nothing is more important to us than our children; but I still manage to have the occasional bad day, even after 11 years.