Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Are You Crazy?!?!?!

That was the reaction I got today when I mentioned Vernon, where he lived and how long we have been together.

I was making a medical appointment and the lady taking it asked me which day was better.
I said, “Any day is fine, I have no life. All I do is work and go home.”
“So you don’t have a husband or a boyfriend”?
“I have a boyfriend; he’s just 3,500 miles away”.
“Where does he live”?
“How long have you been together”?
“11 years”.
“Are you crazy? How do you do that? I don’t think I could do that”.

She continued to ask questions, and I continued to answer them. I love talking about Vernon and our relationship. I love telling people how wonderful he is. I love telling people how loving his family is. Then I started to feel awkward because the questions were sounding like she thought that this relationship wasn’t healthy or normal. I felt like I shared too much with a non LDR (long distance relationship) person. Some think our relationship is really cool, and others think it’s not possible or real. She was amazed that we don’t worry about each other cheating. If you are married or have a boyfriend/girlfriend… do you worry about your partner cheating? Trust is trust. It shouldn’t matter if you are living in the same house or 3,500 miles away. My response to her was “That was never an issue. We have always trusted each other”. I don’t like that I let people make me feel awkward about our relationship and how we met. It’s not traditional and you don’t hear about them working out very often… but because of the blog circles that I travel in, I find more working LDR’s than I find working marriages and couples. I just wanted to get out of there, but she wanted to hear more. She kept saying, “Are you crazy? I don’t know how you do it”. Then she announced my relationship to her co-worker and she looked at me like I was an alien from outer space but managed to say a polite, “wow”.

I can’t imagine my life without Vernon. No, we don’t have a conventional relationship, but it is very real and the only thing I would change is the amount of land and water between us.


  1. Good for you, I admire both you and Vernon for a long and happy relationship albiet 3,000 miles away. You are both happy, probably happier than some who are living under the same roof.
    Good luck to you both.

  2. Thanks Kim for sharing me your lovely entry, in some extent, your relationship tells us that the fairy tale does exist in this bare world, its just so sad that there are some other peoples don't beleive or dont want to believe it...although my LDR not work but I do believe it is real and the feeling is as beautiful as all the other different relationships in this whole world and if the power of love of 2 persons in the relationship is strong enough they can make it...

    You are right, its not matter the distance or difficulties, its matter how much love of you both for each other to get over all the difficult obstacles to make it even stronger.

    God bless you all Kim, Heidi and Vernon.


  3. Sorry you had to deal with such a narrowminded person. It is just so sad that people have problems with things that aren;t standard, just because they aren't it doesn't mean that it can't work out. Sometimes it work out even better. I know that your relationship with Vern is real! I have seen the love in your eyes when you talk about him, so who cares what strangers think... what the heck do they know!
    Miss you tons and I might try and call you this weekend!

  4. Let them guess and let them wonder, and if that makes us a pair of crazy aliens then so be it. We go together like a two piece jigsaw puzzle. You are the missing part of me and our love is a reality that others can only dream of. If you didn't already know, I love you!

  5. First off the comment from Vernon is so sweet! Second I completely admire your relationship! It takes a very special couple to make an 11 year LDR work! The other night I was letting deployment get me down, and I thought, "How the hell do people do LDRs?" I am going crazy and it is just months, you guys have been doing long distance for years! I thought about you two and how much I admire your relationship! People always tell me they could never be me, they could never be a military wife. I say, "You don't think you can until you are in that position. If you love someone, you can love them no matter what the distance is!" :)

  6. ugh, heart melted when I saw Vern's comment lol. You two love birds are so twitter-pated.

  7. It's nobody's business, first thing. And if it works for you, it's doubly none of their business. =D

  8. well I dont see what's so strange about it! and it's no one's business but yours and Vernon's. You make a beautiful couple, and Vernon's post melted my heart too!! It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks - subsequently, she's prob single! hehe

  9. You guys are awesome. Especially you Honey. <3 <3 <3


Vernon and I are in a long distance marriage which started out as a long distance relationship for 14 years. I would love for you to leave a comment on my blog post.