That was the reaction I got today when I mentioned Vernon, where he lived and how long we have been together.
I was making a medical appointment and the lady taking it asked me which day was better.
I said, “Any day is fine, I have no life. All I do is work and go home.”
“So you don’t have a husband or a boyfriend”?
“I have a boyfriend; he’s just 3,500 miles away”.
“Where does he live”?
“England”.
“How long have you been together”?
“11 years”.
“Are you crazy? How do you do that? I don’t think I could do that”.
She continued to ask questions, and I continued to answer them. I love talking about Vernon and our relationship. I love telling people how wonderful he is. I love telling people how loving his family is. Then I started to feel awkward because the questions were sounding like she thought that this relationship wasn’t healthy or normal. I felt like I shared too much with a non LDR (long distance relationship) person. Some think our relationship is really cool, and others think it’s not possible or real. She was amazed that we don’t worry about each other cheating. If you are married or have a boyfriend/girlfriend… do you worry about your partner cheating? Trust is trust. It shouldn’t matter if you are living in the same house or 3,500 miles away. My response to her was “That was never an issue. We have always trusted each other”. I don’t like that I let people make me feel awkward about our relationship and how we met. It’s not traditional and you don’t hear about them working out very often… but because of the blog circles that I travel in, I find more working LDR’s than I find working marriages and couples. I just wanted to get out of there, but she wanted to hear more. She kept saying, “Are you crazy? I don’t know how you do it”. Then she announced my relationship to her co-worker and she looked at me like I was an alien from outer space but managed to say a polite, “wow”.
I can’t imagine my life without Vernon. No, we don’t have a conventional relationship, but it is very real and the only thing I would change is the amount of land and water between us.
I have had the fortune to follow the journey of a very special 5yr old boy who was diagnosed with a Wilms' tumor on his kidney. He had his kidney removed and went through months of chemo. I know this boy's dad professionally. It was tough reading through every Caring Bridge update knowing he and his family were facing this tragedy. Well, I was given the opportunity to meet this amazing little "warrior" (as his parents called him) at his "cancer free" celebration and I was amazed. This kid did NOT have an ounce of brat in him. I watched him play. He included the other kids and shared with them. When adults spoke to him he smiled and gave them his attention. He was still a 5yr old that would rather be playing than talking to a boring grown up, but he stood there smiling while I introduced myself and he nodded yes or no to questions I had asked him. The coolest thing about this sweet kid is that he is probably the biggest Star Wars fan EVER! I wanted to hug him. I wanted to hug his dad and his mom who I briefly met once about 3 years ago. I was really impressed with this skinny little bald kid (who actually did have some peach fuzz growing on his head). As I followed his journey I would be filled with sadness, amazement and shame. Shame? During the same time I was going through recovery of both a knee and back injury. I often cried and hated everyone and everything and felt like this was all going to last forever. Then my thoughts would go to this little warrior who had to endure being poked and prodded and drugged to the point of being sick and losing his motor skills. I felt so ashamed for whining about having to use crutches and not being able to leave the house due to the pain I was in. What my colleague was going through with his son is the sort of thing that puts life into perspective and makes you realize how very strong we can be.
“So you don’t have a husband or a boyfriend”? 
She continued to ask questions, and I continued to answer them. I love talking about Vernon and our relationship. I love telling people how wonderful he is. I love telling people how loving his family is. Then I started to feel awkward because the questions were sounding like she thought that this relationship wasn’t healthy or normal. I felt like I shared too much with a non LDR (long distance relationship) person. Some think our relationship is really cool, and others think it’s not possible or real. She was amazed that we don’t worry about each other cheating. If you are married or have a boyfriend/girlfriend… do you worry about your partner cheating? Trust is trust. It shouldn’t matter if you are living in the same house or 3,500 miles away. My response to her was “That was never an issue. We have always trusted each other”. I don’t like that I let people make me feel awkward about our relationship and how we met. It’s not traditional and you don’t hear about them working out very often… but because of the blog circles that I travel in, I find more working LDR’s than I find working marriages and couples. I just wanted to get out of there, but she wanted to hear more. She kept saying, “Are you crazy? I don’t know how you do it”. Then she announced my relationship to her co-worker and she looked at me like I was an alien from outer space but managed to say a polite, “wow”.
