"Do you want a slow dance or not"

Fourteen years. We have been together for fourteen years.  Sometimes I just can't believe it has been that long, and yet I can't seem to remember a time when I didn't know Vernon.  It's as if he's been with me my entire life.  Vernon's been working on a project going through our old emails, trying to get them organized. He found a very important one, one I really don't remember typing, yet I remember those feelings like it was yesterday.  I sent him an email after 2 1/2 months of exchanging letters, emails and what I think was one phone call where I paced up and down the living room holding note cards with things to talk about because I didn't want him to think I was a moron. I was shocked to see the date of this email, because like I said, I remember the feelings, it's everything else that's a bit of a blur.  This email defines our relationship now.  This email really expresses our connection to each other at such an early point in our friendship.  I've omitted the babbling and boring bits.

 To:  VERNON PHILLIPS
Date:  8 December 1999, 00:48
I hate this!  I really hate this!  Vernon, aren't we supposed to be JUST
pen pals?  I am having a bad week.  This is going to be unlike any email
you have ever gotten from me.  I am having a bad week.  I am lonely.  I
am very lonely.  It has been a really REALLY long time since I felt
loved, secure and happy.  Then you had to say you wanted to dance with
me, "slow".  My stomach took a jump when I read that.  No one ever said
that to me before.  Not even my husband.  I don't want to fall for you
but you are not making it easy for me.   You are too damn nice and
really funny and easy to talk to.  I don't even know what you look like
and I don't care.  I was really sad this past weekend when you didn't
call.  Really sad.  I'm crying now.  I am also getting the impression
that you are falling for me.  I hope not.  It would be impossible, just
impossible.  We are too far apart and we both have kids that really
can't leave the country.  Sometimes I find myself daydreaming and it's
of me and you and i am in your arms and we are dancing so close and so
slow... Also, if you are falling for me, guys are different than
girls, you may not like the way I look.  I'm not skinny.

 ....You are so wonderful to me Vern, I really
like you.  I guess I just have to get out and meet some friends up here
in Michigan.  Then maybe I wouldn't feel so lonely.  I love your emails,
you are so sweet.   

....I think you are very special and I
think of you all the time... all the time.  I just felt like spilling my
guts to you tonight.  I miss you and hope you write soon.
Thinking of you...
Kimberly xxoo

Now this is Vernon's response to my gut spilling email.

To: Kimberly Jimenez
Date: 9 December 1999, 20:00
Our relationship, being what it is, prevents either of us from falling
too far. I do think about you a lot, and it's clear from reading your
letter that your thoughts have echoed mine, with regards to the
impossibility of our relationship ever going beyond a certain point.
We both have our own lives, our own families, children etc. I would
love to think that we could meet one day in the not so distant future,
but I don't want you to think that I am messing with your mind. I'm
sorry that you are lonely, I know that feeling all too well. 

 ....As usual I am unable to spend the right amount
of time on this letter, and for that I apologise. You deserve a better
effort from me, but before I write again I have to ask, would you
rather I was JUST a pen pal. Your friendship is important to me, and I
don't want it to end, but I don't want to become a problem for you, so
I suppose it's a question of "Do you want a slow dance or not" :-)
Until the next time,
-Vern.

Well, you all know the answer to that question.

Missing Him Terribly

We got married!  The wedding was small and beautiful; and the reception was a fantastic celebration where he could meet my extended family and friends.  I promise I will post details, photos and video later.  I regretfully got away from blogging and I do miss it very much.  Things have been crazy and my mood hasn't been the best. Today's post will be a short one, but an important one.

One day last week a song came on the radio as I was pulling into the parking lot at work.  I had to sit in the lot for a while because this song made me cry.  It made me think of Vernon and I miss him so much.  Every time this song is on the radio I cry.  I absolutely love that it is by the Goo Goo Dolls, I have always loved their music.

He went back home to the UK just a couple days after the reception. It was a very sad day for the both of us and by far the most difficult goodbye we've had to do. Since then it's been back to the usual, chatting for a short time every day and video hangouts on the weekends. I cry a lot more because it's been 14 years and we are finally married but still apart. There are many factors both obvious and personal as to why we are not together, but one day we hope that will change.

Love Letter Day; 3/31/01; 1 hr to go

The 10th of every month is Love Letter Day. I still like to visit this amazing website Loving From a Distance, the best resource for anyone of any age that is in a long distance relationship (ldr).  I get advice, and also give advice when those in a new ldr find out I've been in one for so long.  Vernon was going through some of his old photos and letters and came across this gem. I totally forgot I wrote it until he started reading it to me.  I can't believe how far our relationship has come! Now we're getting married. I submitted this letter to the LFAD website and now others can become inspired by it. 

Or... work on their handwriting skills so they don't write as sloppy as me. 

Dear Vernon,
There is only about one hour to go. I am so nervous I have to talk myself into remembering to relax.  I feel like crying!  Not because I'm sad... I cry when I am over emotional... happy, sad, angry, and for today very excited, nervous and happy!  I can't begin to describe my feelings right now.  I really hope I am not a disappointment.  That is my biggest fear. 

Will you smile when you see me?  I'm almost afraid to look at you.  This is so overwhelming.  It's like if I make eye contact with you I might explode.

Today will be your day... our day... to get "re"-acquainted.  I can't see a clock!  I should've got myself a watch. :)  

Being at the hotel last night was strange.  It didn't seem right for me to be there alone.  I hope you like the room.

I am very nervous and beginning to babble!  This letter is supposed to tell you how I was feeling 1 hr. before you got here as my emotions will be crazy in one hour's time.  I'm very scared.  It's kind of a weird scared, like from seeing a ghost.  Right now you are only words on a screen or paper, flat photos and a voice on the phone.  I will be using my other senses with you and it's a feeling I have never felt before.  Scared is the only word I can think of that fits.  I will go check the time now... Yikes! You're getting here sooner than 12:10.  You are scheduled to arrive at 11:51 and it is now 11:19.  1/2 hr. about!  :)  I should remind myself you are probably just as nervous as I am, feeling the same as I am, and you love me just as much as I love you.  I should just chill out and relax!!  11:22. I shouldn't be watching the clock.  It will drive me crazy!  But I don't want you to arrive and have no one to greet  you.  That would suck! :)

I'm going to stop writing babbling :)I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART!!!Yours Forever,Kimberly  xxoo

In addition to writing that letter I also remember hiding behind a pillar because I was afraid of him seeing me before I saw him. From the time it took him landing to making it through the terminal doors it felt like forever; but I stayed glued behind that pillar the entire time. I confessed later and he just thought that was cute. (I think)

Take advantage of today by writing a love letter to your spouse, significant other, kids, BFF, or the elderly neighbor.  Make someones day today.

He Did it Again!

Vernon has not missed one Valentine's Day during our 13 years together. When I told him this his response was, "Is that good?". YES!

What was your best Valentine's Day gift or surprise?

Big News

On the evening of Tuesday, July 31st Vernon proposed.  There will be no story or video.  It was a private, intimate and one of the most amazing moments in our lives.  One that neither of us will ever forget.  He is such a beautiful wonderful man and I am honored to be his future wife.

We went ring shopping the next day at Ericksons in town and they had it ready for me by 5pm that day.  We walked in and I thought it was going to be difficult and stressful, but they made it so much fun. As we looked at the different bands and diamonds, the perfect ring just fell into place. 

We do not have a date set, nor do we have solid plans as to living arrangements but I will keep you posted.  This engagement isn't just about Vernon and I, we have our kids to consider and as you may know, they always come first in our lives... (hence the 13 years of living apart).

I have a Pinterest board with wedding ideas.  My profile is in the "Follow Me" button on the right.  The wedding will be small and private.  We traveled to Copper Harbor, MI one year and loved it so we would like to be married up there.  I love daffodils because they remind me of England; and I would like to wear a raspberry colored dress.  Any suggestions, ideas, or comments will be appreciated.  I'm so excited and can't wait until our big day.

What's even more amazing is that our kids and families are thrilled.  I'm a very lucky girl.

   

I'm a Lucky Girl

Tonight's communications class discussion was "gender".  We divided the class into men and women and we asked each other questions about the opposite sex.  I couldn't think of any questions.  Personally, I don't think men are that complicated.  I truly believe the words of Jeff Foxworthy when he reveals the answer to the big question, "What are men thinking?" to which the answer is "I want a beer and I want to see something naked."  I found the women to have negative feelings toward men, that they are for the  most part insensitive, selfish, forgetful, and thoughtless.  The girls in my class had all sorts of questions for the guys, questions that I thought were pretty easy.   Then I realized... these questions are easy to me because the man that I am in love with doesn't do any of this stuff. I just sat back, and listened.

Question 1. Why do men love video games so much?

The guys couldn't even really answer that one. The instructor helped them along by suggesting maybe it was because it was a challenge or competitive and the guys thought that was pretty accurate. Otherwise they were just saying, "cause they're just fun".  Vern appreciates a good video game, but he wont sit there for hours. He doesn't like to be stationary, he's more versatile in that he will play video games, read, cook, watch a good movie, or chat with me.  If anything causes him to sit for a long period of time it is because he is working on one of his computers. He gets caught up with it, wants to fix what he is working on and on occasion loses track of the time.

Question 2.  Why do men not throw away torn underwear or socks?

The guys thought this was a pretty funny question.  They both said they replace their undergarments when needed, but sometimes something can have a special meaning or memories attached to it which one guy stated.  I don't think Vernon has worn out socks or undies, he's too tidy of a person, but if he does, it's simply because he doesn't think to pick any up.  He takes pretty good care of himself for a single guy.

Question 3.  Why is it the mother's job to change poopy diapers?

My thought on that is what kind of guy are you with that can't even change his own baby's diaper?  We weren't able to get to this question, but then I don't think any of the guys in the class have kids.  Vernon was the type of dad who changed his kids and didn't complain.

Question 4.  Why do men get to go to camp for 2 weeks and the women can't take off when they want to?  

My thought again is what kind of guy are you with that wont let you go anywhere?  I find this to be very sad.  I know for a fact that if I were physically with Vernon, and I wanted to visit a friend or go on a girls weekend or whatever, he'd not only tell me to have fun, he'd make sure I had enough money.  I don't understand couples that get all bent out of shape over stuff like that.  Couples should do things as couples AND as individuals.  I honestly feel like there is something wrong with a relationship if one does not like the other to do things without them, ever.

Question 5. The king of all the questions asked. Why do men forget birthdays, valentines day, anniversaries but they remember opening day for gun season and muskie fishing?

This question was asked and one of the guys said, "Oh thanks for reminding me, I forgot about Valentine's Day." That was funny! Then his answer was "Because it's just like any other day. You women are special to us every day, all the time. We love you just the same." As he smiled his adorable smile.  I thought that was a good answer. I do think that men get the short end of the stick when it comes to these days.  But.... I will say that in the 12 years I have been with Vernon, I have been spoiled and treated like a princess for all of my birthdays and Valentine's Days since.  I haven't always been able to send him something because of money, but he has always managed to send me something whether it be a single rose in a vase or a stereo system I had my eye on. He always makes me feel special. If you want to see what I got last year, check out my blog post Happy Valentine's Day to Me.

Before I met Vernon, I was alone. Most single folks who are alone hate Valentine's Day and curse it. I LOVED it! I sent Valentines to my friends, got my daughter Valentine themed clothes and gifts, gave out heart shaped candy, wore red or pink and just really enjoyed the day.  I liked to hear about my friends who got spoiled by their husbands or boyfriends. It made me happy.  Now I'm the one getting spoiled, but then he makes me feel special each and every day.  He loves me, what more could a girl want?

Happy Birthday Vernon!

Happy Birthday to the man whom I love.
The man who makes me feel like a princess each and every day.
The man who tells me I'm beautiful, sexy and wonderful every time he talks to me.
He adores the way I talk, the way I tell stories and the way I express myself.
I never feel like I have to make excuses, or that I have to prove myself to him.
It's been 12 years and he still gives me butterflies.

Happy Birthday to the man who loves my daughter.
The man who has been a father figure to her for many years.
The man who tells her he is proud of the woman she has become.
He admires her talent, creativity, and maturity.
She appreciates, loves and respects him.


Happy Birthday to a wonderful and loving dad and granddad.
The dad who has always put his kids first.
The dad who wants nothing more than his kids to be happy and healthy.
He is there when they need him and teaches by example.
They have always been able to depend on him.
He is loved and trusted by his granddaughter, and he simply glows when she is around him.


Although we have been apart these last 12 years, I feel so very close to you all of the time.
I can't imagine life without you, and I can't believe I managed to function before I met you.
I wish I could be there with you for your birthday and treat you the way you deserve;
Because you have done nothing but make me feel like the luckiest most special woman in the world.

I love you Honey. Happy Birthday.
I am yours forever.

Still Swooning Over the Royal Wedding

I don't know why... but this wedding was the most fun I had since I was actually IN England and I haven't even done a post on it yet. I was reading one of my favorite blogs and noticed an exciting post by Melissa of Smitten By Britain. The Royal Wedding DVD will be out soon! That inspired me to finally write about what I thought about the wedding. Prince William is so charming... (sorry for the pun); and Kate is so classy and down to earth. There is nothing "common" about Kate. Haters were getting sick

of all the hype about the wedding, the specials on every channel, the interviews with crazy royalty memorabilia collectors, look-a-likes making dance videos and the history of their relationship. I could never decide which channel to land on, but would stop if I saw Sharon Osbourne or Piers Morgan, two of my favorite Brits. While I was in England only 2 weeks before the wedding I could see all the tv ads for party supplies, bakeries, jewelers selling the similar famous engagement ring and retailers selling party dresses and fancy hats. Vern and I had been in Corfe and Swanage for the day and did some souvenir shopping. I saw magnets, keychains, spoons, bells, notebooks, jewelry boxes and this plate. I looked at these items, picked up other things for friends and family, came back to the Will and Kate stuff, looked at them again, picked them up, put them down, and told myself that I need to spend my money on postcards for my collection, Heidi and "the babies" (my niece and nephews). I knew I'd regret it but got over it.... well, we got home that night and everyone showed up to wish me a Happy Birthday and low and behold I got the same plate I saw earlier from Vernon's mother. I just started laughing out loud! It is so pretty and English and exactly what I wanted. And to think I nearly bought something like this myself.  I have it proudly displayed on my shelf above my desk at work next to my model trolley car from San Francisco and my model red double decker bus from London.

I loved everything about the hype, the procession, the cheering, the flags, the people, and the ceremony. The ceremony was wonderful. I especially loved Kate's dress. Wow! So simple and elegant. It was perfect. And her sister looked like a Hollywood movie star. It was fun finding the occasional famous person... well, lots of those people were famous, so I should say famous people that I actually knew. I loved the dresses and shoes and hats... all the hats! I'm not a hat person, but they are fun to look at. Some were just terrible too.... loved laughing at them! Like the two I call "the two ugly stepsisters". OMG! I had no idea who they were, but then later I found out they were the daughters of Sarah Ferguson who wasn't invited to the wedding, all of which I didn't understand until I read up on it later.... drama drama drama... now back on track to "the two ugly stepsisters". Those outfits!  That blue dress was, um.... yeah. And then that bow hat... what was that? Do they not own mirrors? If I were there I would have wanted to throw a bean bag through the hoop to win the prize. I guess when you are rich you can dress how you want no matter how hideous.

The moments after the ceremony were wonderful. The carriage ride was out of a fairytale, (YES! I said "fairytale"!) and the march of all the people to the gates of Buckingham Palace...I was amazed at how orderly the people were escorted, and the crowds went on forever. I couldn't believe how many people were there, especially the crazy Americans. Then the kiss... I nearly missed that because I had to get ready for work and they finally kissed... TWICE! So cute.

  

The best part of the wedding wasn't waking up at 4am,  finding the right channel to watch on TV, or logging onto the official Royal YouTube channel and keeping an eye on both screens so I don't miss a thing.  The best part was that little "beep" that led me to discover that..... VERN IS ONLINE!!!!!!! I tell him I'm going to call so we watched the wedding together. It was perfect. Watching the most perfect wedding on the phone with the most perfect man. It was great and I was in a happy giddy mood for the rest of the day at work.

Romantic Proposal and Dream Honeymoon!

My good friend and fellow blogger is a finalist in a contest where she and her fiancée can win a fabulous honeymoon!  All it takes is to CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR SARAH AND CHRIS! and then you hit the "LIKE" button under the video. I have watched this video over and over again and I tear up at the same spot every time! Help these two great people get their honeymoon.

They have been enduring a long distance relationship just like Vernon and I; and I only wish them the very best. Please take the two seconds to hit that like button.

THANKS! <3 <3 <3 <3


UPDATE:  They won and went on that fabulous honeymoon!

Happy Valentine's Day to Me!

I am so lucky to have such a wonderful man like Vernon. He spoils me every year for Valentines Day, just when I think I know what to expect he throws me something I do not expect. And I never expected this!

Butterflies

He gives me butterflies. I have told him that since the very beginning. Thoughts of him make me smile and blush and I get that feeling in my stomach that I never want to end. He jokes about it and tells me that he's probably making me nauseous, but that's not it. It's butterflies. He told me he kept hearing this song on the radio and it makes him think of me, but he hasn't really paid attention to the lyrics. Well, I looked this up on YouTube and it made me cry. I listened to it several times and it still makes me cry. What a pretty song, sung by such a pretty girl. I just love it! Thank you for making me feel so special Vernon. You give me butterflies!
          

Six Billion to One

Wow, he really loves me.

I got an email from Vernon today letting me know that he's trying blogging again.  I was thinking maybe it was about technology or just life in general, but I come to find that his post was all about me.

Then I was thinking, Oh how nice. He's blogging about how we met, the whole time line, our story, just the facts. Boy was I wrong.

I know he loves he. I've known this for many years. I don't doubt his love and I trust him completely, I always have. But reading his blog entry today felt as if he was telling me he loved me for the first time. I had butterflies in my stomach, my face got red and felt hot, and I cried. I will never be as romantic or eloquent as Vernon, and I sometimes wonder if I make him feel as special and loved as he makes me feel.

There are days when I think that I may wake up from this wonderful dream, because it just can't be possible to feel this kind of love for and from someone. If everyone had this kind of love, there would be no more war, no more crimes, no more hate.

Wow. He really really loves me.

Six Billion to One: Six Billion to One:

"So it comes down to Numbers.

Two People in a World of over Six Billion,

Two People 3710 Miles apart,

Ten years together and going strong....

...and one very lucky Guy!"

Chatting with Vernon today.

Vern: i say good morning to you every morning
Vern: i have the photo of us that you gave to me on my wall next to my bed
Kimberly: you are so romantic
Kimberly:  (blushing smiley)
Vern: well i love you