Visa Update

Well, after sending out my application I have been nervous and stressed about the entire process.  My brain kept thinking horrible thoughts; "What if I missed something? What if I made a mistake on the deadline? What if I get someone who is having a really bad day, and decides to reject every application that crosses his desk?"  Well, I tortured myself for a week and a half and then I got an email. It said I had mailed my application and documents to the wrong place.

I sent everything to New York; apparently they haven't processed settlement applications since 2012. Well f**k me. I also sent the wrong kind of shipping label as they don't take hand written FedEx waybills so I made TWO BIG FAT GIANT mistakes. I forwarded Vern the email and I called my mom. I had trouble holding it together when I told her. {As I'm typing this I'm sitting in a public laundromat with my eyes filling with tears as I recall that horrible day. Hope no one notices.} Anyway, I think I made my mom cry. I  just needed my mom that day, it wasn't my intent to upset her but my parents really want Vernon and I to be happy and to be together.  I cried for days, actually lost my appetite for three days and felt like my life was over.  I will never get to be with my husband.  We will have to re-do this entire process and will have to come up with ANOTHER $1,513, but with the way the economy is going, and how the value of the dollar is getting worse, we would never be able to come up with that amount of money again.  I also pride myself in being an intelligent person and to make such a dumb mistake I was so embarrassed.  People were constantly asking me "Have you heard anything?" and I would lie and say "no".  Only a couple people new what I had done and I really didn't want anyone else to know.

Vernon, my wonderful husband, remained positive and managed to keep me from going out of my mind or slipping into a deep depression.  I got the application and paperwork back after a couple more weeks and more shipping costs. I had to go through my paperwork again because they went through everything in New York.  I put it all together again for the immigration folks in the UK and added a cover letter explaining the embarrassing error.  I went to the post office and sent it again, incurring more shipping costs to get everything to the UK and to get my originals back from the UK. THEN!... there was a mix up in Green Bay with my package because they were being dumb, and an amazing USPS employee here in Iron Mountain went above and beyond to make sure my package made it to the UK when it was supposed to.  At this point I'm feeling as if there is an evil force trying to keep me from moving to the UK.

Well, this is how the rest of this went:

• Monday, October 13: UK Immigration received my application and documents per tracking ID.
• Tuesday, October 14: I received an automated email saying they received my application.  I then received a second automated email saying I'm missing the Appendix 2. {WILL THIS NEVER END?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!} I worked on the Appendix 2 that night.  It is a 17 page document.
• Wednesday, October 15:  Finished working on the Appendix 2 and planned on emailing it from work tomorrow morning.
• Thursday, October 16, 6:30am: I received an automated email saying "A decision has been made and my passport will be shipped via UPS tracking ID blah blah blah..." 

Then all hell breaks loose. I am sobbing uncontrollably, get Vern on a hangout, I can barely talk I'm crying so hard, as I naturally assume they have denied me.  "I haven't turned in the Appendix 2 yet!" There was no deadline, it hadn't been 2 days yet. Why would they do this to us? I've worked so hard, I'm employed, I'm responsible, I deserve to live with my husband!  Why didn't they wait for the Appendix 2?  Vernon did some research while I'm hyper ventilating and crying and he's remaining unusually positive.  I think he's being crazy as there is no way they'd approved me.  My passport was picked up by UPS before I even emailed the Appendix 2 but I emailed it anyway.

• Monday, October 20: the package arrives via UPS at work. I have to wait until Vern is home from work and I go into my boss' office and start a hangout.  I open the package together with Vern, he looked like he was about to be sick and felt like this was not going to be good at all, I started to cry before I even got it open.  I found my passport and went through it... > > > > >

YUP, I GOT IT! {CRYING AGAIN}

The Visa Application

This visa application process has many steps.  After I knew I had all the information I needed I had to log into the UK Visas and Immigration site and start the process there.  I had to create an account and submit my application electronically.  Vernon was online with me in a Google Hangout and we were screen sharing so he could help me with whatever information I needed, and it was a good thing he was there.  This application took us nearly 3 hours to complete. Not sure if that is the norm or if we did a lot of talking or what but we were online with this application for quite some time.  This is not something to rush through so if you are going to do this, make sure you have plenty of time set aside and access to your sponsor or family member for any questions.  You can save the application without processing it so if you need to save it unfinished you can do that too.  It's also good to save as you go. I made the mistake of not saving which I think is one of the reasons it took us so long to get this done.  We also had to pay for our application during this time.  In US dollars it cost us $1,513.  That amount will most likely change as the currency exchange fluctuates.

After I completed the online application I had to pick a location and date to get my biometrics done.  I chose Milwaukee because I planned on being in the area in a few weeks and it would give me time to get my supporting documents together.   It is very important to print and keep these three items: 1. Your completed application. You will need it for your biometrics appointment.  2. Your biometrics appointment letter. You can't get past security without it. 3. Proof of application payment.  I don't remember if they looked at it at my biometrics appointment but you will need to send it along with your application and supporting documents.  When it came time for my appointment I arrived at the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services office in Milwaukee. (USCIS) The security was the same as at an airport. I read that phones and beverages are not allowed so I just left it all in the car.  <<<Me parked with a view of the building I have to go to.  I got there early which was REALLY REALLY smart.  When I got there I had plenty of places to park, there was no one there except one family, but maybe 10 minutes after I arrived the people started pouring in.  I showed security my US Passport (photo ID) and my appointment letter and they x-rayed my purse and went through it.  After security I was asked to stand in front of another door and wait for someone to help me.  They looked at my letter, application and photo ID, wrote something on my application and told me to have a seat and wait until my number is called.  After a short wait, my number was called, I went into another room and a very friendly woman had me clean my hands with sanitizer. She took my photo, then had me stand in front of this glass plate where she wiped my fingertips and placed my fingers on the glass.  My fingerprints appeared before my eyes on the screen in front of me. It was very cool! No ink, no mess! Everyone from security to the fingerprint lab was very professional and friendly and kept people moving along. My appointment was for 11am, but I got there before 10:30 and I was out of there before 11.

  

Finally, I had to get my supporting documents together.  I didn't put in as much time before the appointment as I should have, and then took a road trip to see my daughter the weekend after my appointment which left me only with a few days to make my copies and put all my paperwork together.  I miscalculated how  much time I would actually need to do this.  I had access to a large table where I could spread out and worked every night for 3 nights until midnight, During this time I got really sick, landing me in bed over the weekend that I was supposed to finish putting this stuff together.  I finally got it finished 2 days later than I would have liked, but I was still within the 2 week deadline after my biometrics appointment.  Remember to be mindful of the deadlines.  The paperwork ended up being 11 pounds and I spent over $100 to have it overnighted.  I also included a box and shipping label for returning my originals.  It was hectic, stressful and very emotional when that package was taken from my sight but now it's just time to sit back and wait until I hear from the UK whether my visa application is accepted or not.  They say 8-12 weeks so we'll see how it goes.

Happy Anniversary to the Love of My Life

I don't even know where to begin.  I can't believe it has already been a year since we promised each other our unconditional love.  We are in the process of applying for my visa and it has been an interesting and stressful journey.  There have also been talks of what we would do on a quiet rainy Sunday, what color I want the bedroom to be, the condition of the living room furniture, money, kids, babies, parents, and everything in between.

I like it when you call me your wife, and I love calling you my husband.  I am very proud to be your wife because of the kind of son, brother, friend, father and granddad you are.  I am also very proud of your work ethic.  You set an incredible example for your children and you treat everyone around you with respect.

You tell me I'm beautiful every time you talk to me, even when I have just rolled out of bed with my hair going in every direction and have puffy eyes.   You tell me you need me, you want to spend time with me, and you want me to watch Star Trek with you even if it is against my will.  :)

I wish we could spend our first anniversary together.  I wish I could be there watching Star Trek with you.  I wish we could have a romantic dinner we cooked ourselves. But, we'll have to settle for a Google Hangout and lunch/dinner via webcam.

I appreciate you. I love you. I cherish you and can't wait for us to be together forever.  I love being your wife and I miss you so much.  Tomorrow will be fun, and we can celebrate together....I just realized I forgot the root beer.  Darn! I have a bottle of wine, I'll just crack that open.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HONEY! 

Missing My Husband on a Cold Rainy Day

Today is a very chilly damp day.  I've been trapped in the woods all day waiting to talk to my husband on Google Hangout and the strong winds somehow blew the power out to the house.  It came on again pretty quick but then the internet was out. Thought it would kick in after a few minutes but no luck. I went upstairs and restarted the router, no go.  For the next two hours it was off and on about 3 times.  Can't use my data because there is no mobile service out here.  So, I didn't get to talk to my husband on Father's Day and I didn't get to see him on our usual Sunday Hangout.

I guess the combination of it being Father's Day and it being so cold and crappy out really made me miss Vernon.  The thunder and lightening finally came and it just downpoured in sheets for about 5 minutes.  All I wanted was to be cuddled up with him on the couch.  I was so chilled, and he keeps me warm.

I've been catching up on my shows, which I never have time to watch because of work and not living alone. Vernon sent me a message in between internet outages and said to relax, watch something and take it easy so that is what I'm doing. Even though I'm getting caught up on "The 100" and "Bates Motel" I'm still sad.

I'm Moving to England!

Never again do I have to endure the extreme pain that this view causes me.  I am moving to England.  This has been something that we have  been talking about for a while and the wheels are finally set in motion.  I am amazed at how difficult and expensive this process is.

 The UK Border Agency has changed their website a few times since we started researching the Visa process and I'm really liking the brand new set up.  Much easier to navigate.  I'm not too fond of the income threshold requirement which was set in place in 2013. I was fearful that we would not meet that, but thankfully we do.  Well, I shouldn't say "we" because they don't care that I make well above the income threshold, they don't care that I am a self sufficient English speaking tax paying American, and they don't care that I have a job and an impressive résumé showing a variety of skills and experience.  They only care about Vernon's income.  We are lucky that he met the threshold so we at least know we wont be denied because of that.  The main areas they will be looking at are:  Finances, Proof of Relationship, Legal Marriage, and me not having a questionable/criminal background or a scary communicable disease.  This process is getting less intimidating the further we go because it's just paperwork isn't it? We don't have to make anything up, we don't have anything to hide, we just have to do what we love doing... telling people about our relationship.

I am a 43 year old mom and I have accumulated a lot of stuff over the years.  I have moved in with my parents and have thrown out, given away or sold most of my belongings, furniture, and household items. That was a very difficult thing for me to do.  I plan on hiring an international mover because I will be bringing along a few boxes and some select pieces of furniture that I am very attached to.  That process will be expensive also.

The MOST difficult part of this will be moving away from my daughter.  She is my world.  We have discussed it and she is not thrilled that I'm moving but she wants me to be happy and she loves Vernon like a dad.  She is attending school at Western Michigan University and her major is English, secondary education. In less than 2 years she will be a teacher somewhere on either coast of the US.  Maybe we can convince her to find a job in the UK? Ha ha, let's get me over there first.

So, not only is this the most stressful, difficult and expensive thing I have ever done in my life, I get offered a little challenge.  I was informed last week that Heidi and I will be homeless at the end of the month.  I cried for days.  Didn't eat much or sleep at all.  I hated everyone except Vernon and Heidi.  I even hated myself because I have finally failed to keep a roof over my kid's head.  In the past we've lived without enough food, months without hot water, managed to live years without a phone, TV, and internet as those items are luxury items, and have gone several days without heat in the brutal UP winters because nobody gives a shit if you are a single mother who can't afford to pay the heat bill, but she always had a roof over her head.  I had nightmares of us living in my car in the parking lot at work. What if people found out? Where would I shower? Nobody wants people in their house, they have stuff to do, family plans, no room, I don't blame them.  Asking the people that I asked was the most humiliating thing I've ever had to do, and they would have helped if they could, but it's not like I'm asking to borrow their lawn mower for the afternoon.  Also, during all of this, my dear husband landed himself in the hospital.  My life was falling apart and getting to the UK seemed impossible now and Vernon is so sick he's in the hospital.  I was afraid to tell him what was going on with me and I ended up doing the selfish thing and dumped my problems onto him.  The thing is, he's the only one I depend on, the only person I can really talk to. He should be, he's my husband. But I should have been a better wife and waited until he was better.  Now he's going to read this and scold me because he wants me to tell him everything that is going on with me, good and bad, because that is the amazing man that he is.  I just know it makes him feel helpless when he can't help me with such problems, just like I feel helpless with him being in the hospital without his wife by his side comforting him.  I will add that mum and dad have been absolutely AMAZING during this time and have taken a lot of the worry and guilt off of me for not being there. Well, Vernon seems to be better and should be getting out tomorrow and I have found a place to live.  A friend has a spare room for me and Heidi and she has already made us feel welcome and wanted; and we haven't even moved in yet.  I don't know if I will ever be able to thank her enough for this.

Another challenge that I faced this week was my boss.  I have been fearing this conversation for months.  How do I tell my boss, who has expanded my skill set, taught me new things, challenged me, and promoted me that I am moving to England?  Well, I did just that and his reaction was that he was happy for me, expecting this conversation sooner or later, and was ready with his answer.  He said I couldn't get away that easy and told me that I would be allowed to work remotely from England after I move.  How amazing is that? I'm going to get to keep my job. I love my job. Thank goodness it's in Salesforce.com and IT. Not everyone can do what I have the privilege of doing which is work from home.  That conversation was yesterday, and I think it finally kicked in today because I really haven't been able to enjoy my good news as I have been focused on Vernon and his health.  This weekend we will celebrate and I will give him all the awesome juicy details during our Google Hangout.

Well this is already ridiculously long but I have so much to say. I will keep you posted and try to document this process.  I've been getting help from a fellow blogger/friend who did the same move and has been very supportive, informative and helpful.  One day I hope to do the same for another soon to be expat.

Two New Years and One Valentine's Day

One of the things that make a long distance relationship difficult is a holiday.  People want to spend the holidays with their loved ones, whether it's Thanksgiving, Christmas, or in this case, New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day.

New Year's Eve is when couples share their first kiss of the year.  Vernon and I had an amazing 2013 by getting married and introducing him to my extended family who welcomed him with open arms.  We are excited for 2014 because this is going to be a great year for the both of us.  Our kids are becoming adults and we are enjoying calling each other husband and wife.  We celebrated 2013 and watched the fireworks over Big Ben and the London Eye.  Vernon turned the computer around so I could see and he sat on the floor.  We were in a silly mood, and had a toast at Midnight Greenwich Mean Time/ 6pm Central Standard Time.  We both had a root beer.

/

Then... 6 hours later at Midnight Central Standard Time we had another toast! I was just planning on going to bed after talking to Vern earlier and he says, "I'll set my alarm early tomorrow and we can see in your New Year".  I wasn't even going to ask him to get up early so I was happy that he wanted to do this.  We had a second toast, root beer for me again and I think he had coffee. I had fallen asleep from 11 to 11:30 so I was not as silly as I was earlier. He caught me dozing too as he tried calling me and I didn't pick up right away. He knows me too well. 

Vernon has not missed one Valentine's Day.  He is always so thoughtful and gets me something wonderful every year.  The packages arrived a week early and I was anxious to open them.  A small box from Amazon and a bigger box from Barnes and Noble cried my name every day... "Kimberly! Open Me!" No matter how much I begged, he would not let me open them.  Then finally, February 13, late at night I got to Google Hangout with Vernon while he got ready for work and I got to open my presents! They were perfect!

Leave a comment below and let me know how you celebrate New Year's Eve or Valentine's Day with your loved ones.  I'm curious to see what will happen on Valentine's Day if we ever spend one together. 

We Watched a Movie Together!

Vernon and I don't get to do normal traditional every day things that normal married couples get to do, like cooking, eat breakfast together, or watch a movie on the weekend.  Vern suggested we watch a movie together. We tried to do it before at my request and I felt like Vern really wasn't into it and we never were able to get it together.  The idea was just forgotten.  Then last week Vern suggested we watch a movie together, he seemed excited about the idea, told me to get a list of movies together and he'd check what he had for streaming.  I rented the movie Fargo. I have never seen this movie and neither has Vern.  It's a classic, won a bunch of awards, it's time I see this one! Wow was it good! He and I really enjoyed it! How did we do this you ask?  This is what we did....

We were on a Google hangout, as always. I had a dvd, he has a streaming subscription to Love Films and Now and maybe Netflix too.  He found this film and we pressed play at the same time.  It was awful! They were several second out of sync, I couldn't understand my TV because Vernon's TV was so loud (due to his hearing problem).  I then had the idea to mute my TV, but it was out of sync and kind of annoying.  After several quick pauses and short FF I got it synced PERFECTLY! It was about 10 minutes into the film but it was great! We could talk to each other during the movie, laughing and commenting on it to each other, and I really felt like we were together.  Vernon was amused by the way they spoke.  Yes it was a bit exaggerated but VERY similar to the way they talk up here in Da U.P. Eh. and the way they go about their lives and how they are so laid back and easy going. Yup, that's us in the Midwest! It was so much fun.  Vernon was amused by the scene I posted in the clip below. If you haven't seen Fargo I suggest you do very soon. It's great!

Missing Him Terribly

We got married!  The wedding was small and beautiful; and the reception was a fantastic celebration where he could meet my extended family and friends.  I promise I will post details, photos and video later.  I regretfully got away from blogging and I do miss it very much.  Things have been crazy and my mood hasn't been the best. Today's post will be a short one, but an important one.

One day last week a song came on the radio as I was pulling into the parking lot at work.  I had to sit in the lot for a while because this song made me cry.  It made me think of Vernon and I miss him so much.  Every time this song is on the radio I cry.  I absolutely love that it is by the Goo Goo Dolls, I have always loved their music.

He went back home to the UK just a couple days after the reception. It was a very sad day for the both of us and by far the most difficult goodbye we've had to do. Since then it's been back to the usual, chatting for a short time every day and video hangouts on the weekends. I cry a lot more because it's been 14 years and we are finally married but still apart. There are many factors both obvious and personal as to why we are not together, but one day we hope that will change.