One of many terrible jokes I have to put up with all the time.

My niece had to have her adenoids out so I thought I'd send her a little gift to keep her busy while she was stuck in bed.  I was simply telling Vernon that this gift would be from the four of us and this is what I get in return.

 me: ... I sent her a coloring book, stickers, crayons and a lap desk from you, me, heidi and yaz she'll get it on thurs.

the stickers and coloring book are of animals

 Vernon:  Cool

 Sent at 10:50 AM on Tuesday

 me:  from now on i'm signing cards/gifts, etc from the both of us or all 4 of us

 Vernon:  Are they in a packet? Don't open if the seal is broken

 me:  huh?

 Vernon:  Lol

 me:  i don't get it

 Vernon:  Animal stickers

 me:  still don't get it

 Vernon:  Remind me when we're bored in bed one day

 me:  NO

tell me now

i wont remember this conversation

why do animal stickers have to be sealed?

OH... Seal is an animal

is that it?

 Vernon:  Lol

 me:  Is that it? did I get it?

LOL

 Vernon:  Yes!

 me:  sometimes I REALLY hate your jokes

 Vernon:   :)   

MY ELEVEN YEAR RELATIONSHIP WITH TECHNOLOGY - UH - I MEAN VERNON (written as a guest post for another blog May 2, 2011)

Relationships change and evolve over time. Technology also changes and evolves. Sometimes they go hand in hand. Skype is eight years old. Myspace is eight years old. Facebook is seven years old. Twitter is five years old and iGoogle was launched five years ago as well. Eleven years ago, I met the man of my dreams, I had WebTV and I had no idea that we would be where we are today; in our relationship or in technology. If you are under twenty years old you probably have no idea what WebTV is. How would a couple maintain a long distance relationship without the technology listed above? Today’s kids probably don’t think about it and assume it’s been around since the dawn of time. We “old folks” know better, although I feel I’m speaking to a younger audience so I’ll tell you now…technology has come such a long way in the last eleven years.

Vernon in Michigan 2001. I’m such a Yooper!

Vernon and I met online. I was looking for young single parent support and he had made a post on a pen-pal site. I’m not sure how I found him because I was not familiar with this odd thing called “the internet” but he had everything I was looking for. He was a single parent, was my age, had a child same age as mine in addition to a younger child, and just wanted someone to write to, converse with, and interact with. Only negative was that he was a guy…. well, if he turned into a ‘perv’ I’d just stop writing him. We emailed each other for a while and discussed parenting, life, being single, working, and our pen-pal relationship turned into friendship which turned into something I don’t have a word for. Not a word that’s good enough anyway. We also wrote letters, you know, paper and pens and envelopes and stamps. Those kinds of letters. After several months, maybe close to a year, we finally exchanged pictures. Nope, no facebook yet, no picasa, we MAILED them to each other. I do believe that Vernon had a scanner and scanned a photo and emailed it to me. It took forever to download if I’m thinking of the right picture. We had already fallen for each other before exchanging photos. We got to know each other from the inside out. The photos were just a bonus.

As we got more familiar with the internet we became familiar with chat rooms. I don’t remember if it was yahoo or what, but we would have to log into the same chat room at the same time. I would create a private one so we didn’t have to be bothered by all the weirdo perverts out there looking for “cyber sex”.  I remember the first time some dude sent me a photo of his ‘junk’, that was pretty scary. It’s always a good idea not to talk to strangers, in person or on the internet. I then discovered an instant messenger program called ICQ. That was much better than chatrooms. So we used that and Yahoo IM.

We wanted to hear each other’s voice. I found a vending machine at the little shopping strip in my town and it sold international phone cards. I could buy one for $20 and we could talk for over 4 hours as long as we didn’t make multiple calls. Every time a call was made it would deduct some sort of fee that would lessen our minutes, so to get the most of our money we used it up in one shot. We did that about once a month. Sometimes I would fall asleep on the phone, or so he says.

There were no laptops, no wireless internet, and dial up internet was very expensive and the computers were very large and cumbersome. For a while I didn’t have a computer at all at home, just the webtv which had limited use. So when we did instant messenger it was while I was at work. Shhhhh.

Now with cloud computing (which is 100% of what my job consists of), digital photographs, Facebook, Picasa, iGoogle, Yahoo IM, Skype, webcams, I can go on, but you get the picture; our relationship has grown with the help of these tools. We are constantly aware of the other’s schedule, mood, and even when traveling we can keep in touch. We Skype once a week, only because of the 6 hour time difference and we both work full time jobs. Otherwise, we’d probably Skype every day. I have an awesome phone plan through Vonage where I can call him in the UK as often as I like and only pay one flat rate. I take advantage of that when he has days off of work and I call him when I get up at 6am. It’s a great way to start my day. I have uploaded web cam photos of myself and sent them to him a few minutes later. I record videos on my Flip Camera and he can watch them whenever he wants. He doesn’t feel like he’s missing out on major events and I can look at his photo albums any time I want. It makes the long distance relationship so much easier. Waiting several weeks for a letter is terrible. Don’t get me wrong, even with this technology, long distance relationships take a lot of work, but it just seems easier now.

Me in England 2011. We still look HOT!

Our bond was really strong from the beginning. I think that without this technology we’d still be together but the times in between visits and letters would be even more difficult and stressful. I don’t wish an LDR on anyone, but if you happen to be in one, take advantage of the technology out there, appreciate the time you have online, and make the best of it. Have fun and be creative.  I still manage to send Vernon postcards and the occasional letter or card. I guess I’m a bit old fashioned that way.

A Rough Week

Vernon has been off of work all week. He's around to chat most of the day, we Skype when I wake up in the morning and we Skype when I get home from work until the wee hours of the morning for him. I love the extra time "together". We've been talking about silly things, we've been talking about serious things, and sometimes we just sit there and look at each other. When it's time to say goodbye I get very sad and stressed. I just want him here. Tuesday morning I had physical therapy. I woke up early and was tearful and sad. I really didn't have a reason for it. I was on the verge of tears throughout my therapy appointment and then began crying toward the end because I couldn't step up with my bad leg. The poor Dr. thought he made me cry but it wasn't that. I spent the day fighting tears or hiding in the bathroom at work when I couldn't hold it back any longer. Wednesday morning I woke up and Vernon and I had a Skype call. He teases me because I have trouble waking up. We had a nice time talking and then we chatted throughout the day. When I got home I was sad and tired and just wanted to go to bed and watch Netflix or something. I then started missing Vern and began to cry. The crying just got worse, it's the kind of crying where my entire head was stuffed, my nose was running and every time I swallowed my ears would pop. I couldn't stop. I missed Vernon so much. This went off and on for a few hours. There was a pain in the middle of my chest and I felt sick so I didn't have any dinner. I cried until I was finally able to fall asleep. Thursday morning was therapy again but I was able to Skype with Vernon after work. My eyes were puffy and burned all day from crying the night before. After we hung up it happened again, but I only cried for about 15 minutes. I wasn't going to eat, but I told Vernon I wouldn't skip dinner tonight so I made myself some hot dogs. He really doesn't like it when I skip meals. Friday morning I got to wake up to Vernon again, and then after work we were on Skype again till Vernon's eyes were glazed over from his lager and lack of sleep. I love the way he looks when he's sleepy. He's so cute. Friday was a tremendous day, lots of good things happened and I was not sad anymore.

I love Vernon. I know he loves me. He makes me feel so special, beautiful, wanted, happy and loved, but I still feel sad at times. I will never regret the decision we made to have a long distance relationship because nothing is more important to us than our children; but I still manage to have the occasional bad day, even after 11 years.

Chatting With Vernon Today

Kimberly:  the city is going to be digging up my entire block
Vern: ?
Kimberly: there is blue and yellow spray paint up the entire block and yellow flags everywhere.
 my road, infront of my house, they will be digging it up
Vern: any reason
Kimberly: don't know, it looks perfectly fine, might be waterline work or something?
 it's gonna suck
 i mentioned it to heidi and she's like "Yay! Construction workers!"
 i'm like, "Uh, NO, I don't think so!"
Vern: no it's me, i'm having a tunnel dug from here
Kimberly: lol YAY!!!!!!!!

What were you doing one year ago?

Vernon and I chat several times a week.  I was going through our chats from 2010 and thought it would be interesting to see what we were talking about a year ago today. I wonder if all our chats are like this because boy do I look like I have some form of A.D.D. because I jump around from topic to topic.

One year ago today:

• I synced my Outlook calendar with Salesforce.com. Vernon's response, "You know how to have fun."
• I told Vern about the awards ceremony at Heidi's school, how she was going to get presented with her scholarship to WMU and that my Aunt and Uncle would be there too. (Turned out that they don't present the big awards on award night, they save those for graduation so we sat through that entire thing for nothing.)
• I was very angry. Didn't know why. I couldn't focus. Had a bad case of road rage on the way to taking Heidi to school. Vernon said, "It's good to be angry every so often." 
• A certain co-worker was annoying the crap out of me quite frequently and did something specific that day that really annoyed me. This year I don't have to deal with that person anymore. WOO HOOO!
• I was worried about seeing the Ex next week. I'm thinking that was for graduation. I'm actually shocked he showed up. Was never good at following through with commitments to Heidi.
• Vernon had 46 parcels (packages) for one house. He didn't mention it to his manager because he would have taken them off of him and given him 45 more packages to different houses. That is what my dad would call working smart, not hard. Then I went on to talk about my FedEx days. Oh such good times... (not really)
• Vernon's work got a new computer system and it broke down... is an expensive new system and it breaks down. Frustrating.
• I took my lunch break at home and thought I'd surprise Vernon with a phone call. Of course no one answered. Vernon's reply, "although as I look across to the phone, I see someone has called. Sorry Darling." (I love when he calls me Darling).
• I'm training a new girl, they hired someone yesterday to help me out. She's very tall, young, eager to learn and very nice. 
• Heidi just called, she and her friend are going to study at the park. She's got an Economics test and her friend has a Government test. (Wow, seems like yesterday she was in high school)
• It was a beautiful sunny warm day but I was freezing my boobies off? Vernon's response, "Be careful where they fall!" Apparently it was warmer in the U.P. than in Somerset that day.
• I had an odd dream last night... A Watertown firefighter, my friend NM, Heidi and I were in some unknown living room watching TV. I was only wearing a towel. NM and the firefighter were my ride. I wanted to go home to get dressed but no one would take me.
• I was looking at Vernon's photos in Facebook. He had a picture of the place where we had our dinners during our trip to Copper Harbor. 
• We say goodbye the same way nearly every time. Vernon: "bye sexy"; Me: "bye".

Smiles!

When you are with someone long enough you can tell what your partner is thinking just by looking at his face. You can tell if he is happy, sad, confused, angry, annoyed or just plain indifferent. Some think that those of us in a long distance relationship (LDR) are at a disadvantage but I think we are at an advantage now, especially with the technology today. Since my daughter has gone off to college, Vernon and I Skype every Sunday. It is wonderful getting to see him every week. At first it was like torture, only getting to see him for a short while and then having to say goodbye, but I'm used to it now. I really look forward to my Sundays with him. Well, I think an LDR is very similar to a person who has lost one or more of his senses. If you can't see, you have very sharp hearing, or if you can't hear, you are very observant sometimes to the point of being able to read lips. Well, since I am unable to touch him and see him in 3d I have to pay attention to his facial expressions. When we are simply chatting, I have to pay attention to his words, how fast or slow they appear on the screen, even the silly little emoticons that he uses. We can tell if the other is busy, in a bad mood, troubled, or happy just from our chatting. We have personalities in the way we chat. But, when we Skype I have the ability to see his face. Vernon has this smile that makes me melt and feel like I am so very loved and he looks like he's thinking that he's the luckiest man in the world. (As he very well should. LOL) It's a simple smile, I could be talking away about a stupid story or just sitting there and he just smiles at me with that very specific smile. If you are blessed enough to be with your partner every day, pay attention to what they are saying, how they are saying it, their facial expressions. Don't be distracted with what is going on around you. Just look at each other, enjoy each other and appreciate each other. It's easier than you think.

You would think I'd be used to this already!

We usually only chat and send emails because of our work schedules and the time zone difference. I got a house phone with an international plan with the intent on calling Vernon every weekend, but that has been difficult with my busy schedule with Heidi. This Labor Day weekend we spoke twice, and got out the web cams to video chat. We both have lots going on and had a lot to talk about, then I just took a good look at Vernon. I could see him from the chest up, he was sitting on his sofa, and he was tired. I just started to cry. He looked so handsome and so comfortable and I could almost smell the laundry detergent in his t-shirt and I just wanted to hug him and I couldn't. That's all I wanted, just one quick hug. I'm not used to seeing him in between visits and it's difficult. I should be used to this, but just when I think I'm ok with the long distance relationship thing, it really really sucks and I cry and cry and cry. It's difficult hearing him tell me that I'm cute and beautiful and sexy, but I love it so much. I don't want it to stop, because when I'm with him I feel that I am all of those things. He looks at me like I'm the only woman in the world, and he get's this sweet smile on his face like I'm amusing him with a joke or a story and I'm not even doing or saying anything.  I don't want that to stop either. It's so difficult saying goodbye and I'm crying right now just thinking about it. Now that Heidi is off to college, I'll have more free Sundays and I can get used to seeing him and talking to him more often. I can't imagine my life without him, even if he is 3,500 miles away.

Chatting with Vernon today.

Vern: i say good morning to you every morning
Vern: i have the photo of us that you gave to me on my wall next to my bed
Kimberly: you are so romantic
Kimberly:  (blushing smiley)
Vern: well i love you

There is missing you and then there is MISSING YOU.

Things have been crazy busy for me this summer getting the kid ready for college.  First it's a full weekend of graduation and then the party 4 hours from home.  Then we had to make a trip down to fabulous Kalamazoo for a 2 day orientation, with 2 days of travel and an extra day for just hanging out.  It gets expensive and I'm using up my vacation time pretty quick.  I don't remember to check my email or even log on to the computer because I'm out of my normal routine.  The norm is chatting nearly every day with Vernon, sending occasional emails and Facebook or Picassa updates. When I'm away from the computer, It's as if I've left him behind.  I miss him in a different way.  I don't know how to explain it.  We joke about the day when we are finally united and we wont know how to function together.  He'll get home from work and sit down at the computer and I'll be in the next room on another computer and we'll chat to each other.  Crazy, I know. My recent adventures have been so jam packed with information, excitement, stress, and interesting stuff.  This thing with me being a parent of a high school graduate is new to me, I need Vernon to help me cope and celebrate, but I'm not even logged into the computer.  I always tell him before I go anywhere.  We made a promise to each other that we would not avoid logging into the computer for more than 3 days no matter if we are upset with each other (which has never happened, I don't think) or if we are busy.  When I didn't hear from Vernon for 3 days, I worried.  I've worried things like he's mad at me, he's sick, he's had an accident, all the worst... I'm a worrier.  It's always the work schedule, he has a demanding job.  When his job is extra demanding, I'll get a quick short email just saying that he loves me, and I'm happy with that.  I want him to take care of himself, I want him to give his kids the attention that they need, I want him to be happy and not worry about me, but I do need to hear that he is still alive if it's going to be 3 days.  Today is Friday, he's usually there on Fridays.  But... work has been tough, he's had a recent minor injury and I know his son is coming home for a visit sometime soon, so I'm not worried. Well, I worry about his injury, but I know overall he's fine.  I'll try calling him Sunday afternoon (evening his time) and if he's not in, we'll catch up on Monday as he usually does after a long weekend of no contact.  I constantly miss him, but I miss him in a different way when we don't communicate for several days.

It's amazing how he can read my mood just from chatting.  With all the stress of getting the kid ready for school, I've been very emotional and moody. Sometimes we are both moody and tired which makes for a very brief and uneventful conversation.  We don't fight, we just don't say very much.  The last time we chatted, he was extra attentive.  It was wonderful.  He was unusually talkative, flirty, spunky.  I liked it.  I needed that. He picked up my crappy mood and made me smile.  He's very intuitive to my needs and feelings and this is over the computer.  Whew, I'm babbling and falling asleep. I'll try to post more often, things are so crazy for me right now.  Have a great weekend!