Working in the UK

As I've mentioned I am moving to England. When I told my boss he informed me that I would be able to continue working from the UK.  At first this sounded simple, just take my computer overseas and just keep doing what I'm doing.  Well, there is a lot more to think about. Should I stay on as an employee? Should I work as an independent contractor? Do I create a business? I'm not even sure.  I don't know whether to create a US LLC or a UK LLC; or if I need to create anything at all. If I create a UK LLC will that create problems for the company I work for? If I create a US LLC will I be paying double taxes? What are the pros and cons of remaining an employee? So many questions.

 I have been reaching out to various resources for help and not getting much of a response, however there is a group on Linkedin that I reached out to and they have sent me an abundance of information that I checked out.  Have some things to research yet as it was all very thorough and kind of complicated.  I have family that is willing to help me out with this stuff too but I still need to get the UK side figured out. It's difficult finding people on the UK side when I am six time zones away.  So far Linkedin has been my best resource. Vernon has reached out to a type of UK Citizen information site. Not exactly sure how they will be able to help him but it's a step into finding the right information we need.  Our goal is to make this as painless as possible for us and my employer.

My biggest fear about moving to England was not having a job.  I've always had a job, since I was a kid.  My father always talked to us kids about working hard and having a strong work ethic.  We all have this.  My mom made many sacrifices and always put us first.  My dad put in long hours and made sure we always had what we needed.  I can't imagine not having a job.  I don't understand how people who deliberately live off the government have any self worth or pride.  I've always wanted my daughter to be proud of me and I don't want her thinking that it's ok to take advantage of the government benefits.  It's ok to get help when needed, but don't ever EXPECT a handout when all you want to do is nothing.  I'll beat her ass before I let that happen.  So far she's made me a very proud mom.

When I finally get to England, it will be nice to combine our households and have that extra bit of cash needed for getting things for our home and yard, going on little weekend getaways and of course, feeding my pizza and movie habit.  I really can't wait to see how frugal I can be with grocery shopping.  I want to get into saving money and finding those sales.  I also believe in shopping local, not a big fan of the WalMarts of the world so anxious to take advantage of the local farmers' markets and shops.

Wish us luck with this entire process. Lots to do and lots to think about.  I am very grateful for being able to keep my job and excited that I will be able to work from home and have dinner with my husband every night.  I'm always looking for advice and resources regarding this employment situation so leave a comment if you have anything for us.

I'm Moving to England!

Never again do I have to endure the extreme pain that this view causes me.  I am moving to England.  This has been something that we have  been talking about for a while and the wheels are finally set in motion.  I am amazed at how difficult and expensive this process is.

 The UK Border Agency has changed their website a few times since we started researching the Visa process and I'm really liking the brand new set up.  Much easier to navigate.  I'm not too fond of the income threshold requirement which was set in place in 2013. I was fearful that we would not meet that, but thankfully we do.  Well, I shouldn't say "we" because they don't care that I make well above the income threshold, they don't care that I am a self sufficient English speaking tax paying American, and they don't care that I have a job and an impressive résumé showing a variety of skills and experience.  They only care about Vernon's income.  We are lucky that he met the threshold so we at least know we wont be denied because of that.  The main areas they will be looking at are:  Finances, Proof of Relationship, Legal Marriage, and me not having a questionable/criminal background or a scary communicable disease.  This process is getting less intimidating the further we go because it's just paperwork isn't it? We don't have to make anything up, we don't have anything to hide, we just have to do what we love doing... telling people about our relationship.

I am a 43 year old mom and I have accumulated a lot of stuff over the years.  I have moved in with my parents and have thrown out, given away or sold most of my belongings, furniture, and household items. That was a very difficult thing for me to do.  I plan on hiring an international mover because I will be bringing along a few boxes and some select pieces of furniture that I am very attached to.  That process will be expensive also.

The MOST difficult part of this will be moving away from my daughter.  She is my world.  We have discussed it and she is not thrilled that I'm moving but she wants me to be happy and she loves Vernon like a dad.  She is attending school at Western Michigan University and her major is English, secondary education. In less than 2 years she will be a teacher somewhere on either coast of the US.  Maybe we can convince her to find a job in the UK? Ha ha, let's get me over there first.

So, not only is this the most stressful, difficult and expensive thing I have ever done in my life, I get offered a little challenge.  I was informed last week that Heidi and I will be homeless at the end of the month.  I cried for days.  Didn't eat much or sleep at all.  I hated everyone except Vernon and Heidi.  I even hated myself because I have finally failed to keep a roof over my kid's head.  In the past we've lived without enough food, months without hot water, managed to live years without a phone, TV, and internet as those items are luxury items, and have gone several days without heat in the brutal UP winters because nobody gives a shit if you are a single mother who can't afford to pay the heat bill, but she always had a roof over her head.  I had nightmares of us living in my car in the parking lot at work. What if people found out? Where would I shower? Nobody wants people in their house, they have stuff to do, family plans, no room, I don't blame them.  Asking the people that I asked was the most humiliating thing I've ever had to do, and they would have helped if they could, but it's not like I'm asking to borrow their lawn mower for the afternoon.  Also, during all of this, my dear husband landed himself in the hospital.  My life was falling apart and getting to the UK seemed impossible now and Vernon is so sick he's in the hospital.  I was afraid to tell him what was going on with me and I ended up doing the selfish thing and dumped my problems onto him.  The thing is, he's the only one I depend on, the only person I can really talk to. He should be, he's my husband. But I should have been a better wife and waited until he was better.  Now he's going to read this and scold me because he wants me to tell him everything that is going on with me, good and bad, because that is the amazing man that he is.  I just know it makes him feel helpless when he can't help me with such problems, just like I feel helpless with him being in the hospital without his wife by his side comforting him.  I will add that mum and dad have been absolutely AMAZING during this time and have taken a lot of the worry and guilt off of me for not being there. Well, Vernon seems to be better and should be getting out tomorrow and I have found a place to live.  A friend has a spare room for me and Heidi and she has already made us feel welcome and wanted; and we haven't even moved in yet.  I don't know if I will ever be able to thank her enough for this.

Another challenge that I faced this week was my boss.  I have been fearing this conversation for months.  How do I tell my boss, who has expanded my skill set, taught me new things, challenged me, and promoted me that I am moving to England?  Well, I did just that and his reaction was that he was happy for me, expecting this conversation sooner or later, and was ready with his answer.  He said I couldn't get away that easy and told me that I would be allowed to work remotely from England after I move.  How amazing is that? I'm going to get to keep my job. I love my job. Thank goodness it's in Salesforce.com and IT. Not everyone can do what I have the privilege of doing which is work from home.  That conversation was yesterday, and I think it finally kicked in today because I really haven't been able to enjoy my good news as I have been focused on Vernon and his health.  This weekend we will celebrate and I will give him all the awesome juicy details during our Google Hangout.

Well this is already ridiculously long but I have so much to say. I will keep you posted and try to document this process.  I've been getting help from a fellow blogger/friend who did the same move and has been very supportive, informative and helpful.  One day I hope to do the same for another soon to be expat.

A Rough Week

Vernon has been off of work all week. He's around to chat most of the day, we Skype when I wake up in the morning and we Skype when I get home from work until the wee hours of the morning for him. I love the extra time "together". We've been talking about silly things, we've been talking about serious things, and sometimes we just sit there and look at each other. When it's time to say goodbye I get very sad and stressed. I just want him here. Tuesday morning I had physical therapy. I woke up early and was tearful and sad. I really didn't have a reason for it. I was on the verge of tears throughout my therapy appointment and then began crying toward the end because I couldn't step up with my bad leg. The poor Dr. thought he made me cry but it wasn't that. I spent the day fighting tears or hiding in the bathroom at work when I couldn't hold it back any longer. Wednesday morning I woke up and Vernon and I had a Skype call. He teases me because I have trouble waking up. We had a nice time talking and then we chatted throughout the day. When I got home I was sad and tired and just wanted to go to bed and watch Netflix or something. I then started missing Vern and began to cry. The crying just got worse, it's the kind of crying where my entire head was stuffed, my nose was running and every time I swallowed my ears would pop. I couldn't stop. I missed Vernon so much. This went off and on for a few hours. There was a pain in the middle of my chest and I felt sick so I didn't have any dinner. I cried until I was finally able to fall asleep. Thursday morning was therapy again but I was able to Skype with Vernon after work. My eyes were puffy and burned all day from crying the night before. After we hung up it happened again, but I only cried for about 15 minutes. I wasn't going to eat, but I told Vernon I wouldn't skip dinner tonight so I made myself some hot dogs. He really doesn't like it when I skip meals. Friday morning I got to wake up to Vernon again, and then after work we were on Skype again till Vernon's eyes were glazed over from his lager and lack of sleep. I love the way he looks when he's sleepy. He's so cute. Friday was a tremendous day, lots of good things happened and I was not sad anymore.

I love Vernon. I know he loves me. He makes me feel so special, beautiful, wanted, happy and loved, but I still feel sad at times. I will never regret the decision we made to have a long distance relationship because nothing is more important to us than our children; but I still manage to have the occasional bad day, even after 11 years.

What were you doing one year ago?

Vernon and I chat several times a week.  I was going through our chats from 2010 and thought it would be interesting to see what we were talking about a year ago today. I wonder if all our chats are like this because boy do I look like I have some form of A.D.D. because I jump around from topic to topic.

One year ago today:

• I synced my Outlook calendar with Salesforce.com. Vernon's response, "You know how to have fun."
• I told Vern about the awards ceremony at Heidi's school, how she was going to get presented with her scholarship to WMU and that my Aunt and Uncle would be there too. (Turned out that they don't present the big awards on award night, they save those for graduation so we sat through that entire thing for nothing.)
• I was very angry. Didn't know why. I couldn't focus. Had a bad case of road rage on the way to taking Heidi to school. Vernon said, "It's good to be angry every so often." 
• A certain co-worker was annoying the crap out of me quite frequently and did something specific that day that really annoyed me. This year I don't have to deal with that person anymore. WOO HOOO!
• I was worried about seeing the Ex next week. I'm thinking that was for graduation. I'm actually shocked he showed up. Was never good at following through with commitments to Heidi.
• Vernon had 46 parcels (packages) for one house. He didn't mention it to his manager because he would have taken them off of him and given him 45 more packages to different houses. That is what my dad would call working smart, not hard. Then I went on to talk about my FedEx days. Oh such good times... (not really)
• Vernon's work got a new computer system and it broke down... is an expensive new system and it breaks down. Frustrating.
• I took my lunch break at home and thought I'd surprise Vernon with a phone call. Of course no one answered. Vernon's reply, "although as I look across to the phone, I see someone has called. Sorry Darling." (I love when he calls me Darling).
• I'm training a new girl, they hired someone yesterday to help me out. She's very tall, young, eager to learn and very nice. 
• Heidi just called, she and her friend are going to study at the park. She's got an Economics test and her friend has a Government test. (Wow, seems like yesterday she was in high school)
• It was a beautiful sunny warm day but I was freezing my boobies off? Vernon's response, "Be careful where they fall!" Apparently it was warmer in the U.P. than in Somerset that day.
• I had an odd dream last night... A Watertown firefighter, my friend NM, Heidi and I were in some unknown living room watching TV. I was only wearing a towel. NM and the firefighter were my ride. I wanted to go home to get dressed but no one would take me.
• I was looking at Vernon's photos in Facebook. He had a picture of the place where we had our dinners during our trip to Copper Harbor. 
• We say goodbye the same way nearly every time. Vernon: "bye sexy"; Me: "bye".

Missing You Like Crazy

I had a long day at work yesterday. It started with a list of tasks and projects and everything got put on hold to troubleshoot an issue that came up. I manage the company's CRM and it is very user friendly. Glitches are something that just don't happen with this product. I had users telling me the site had a glitch, but I'm 98% sure that it was user error. I had to fix the problem and it took me the rest of the afternoon. As I made my corrections, evidence consisting of what I would call an electronic 'paper trail' proves that this was all user error. HA! When it comes to this CRM I know my stuff!

Around lunch hour, up pops my honey. Ha ha, you could take that a number of ways... but I'm talking IM. ;) We chat a few times a week. His job keeps him very busy so he's unable to chat every day. Some days are much busier than others for me, as while I'm chatting I'm doing other things. I'm the multi-tasking queen. Some days I end up neglecting him but he's very understanding because he knows I'm at work. Sometimes I forget he's on, which is TERRIBLE of me, but I'll get pulled away from my desk or get caught up in a phone call. It's not like he's ever distracted by 'Dr. Who', 'Top Gear' or that evening's movie. {insert sarcasm here} . As always, he asked me how my day was going. He's always interested in what's going on at work. Here is how that part of our conversation went.

V: how is my sexy girl?
K: lets just say, that if i were coming home to you tonight, i would insist that we order take out and then watch a funny movie with you curled up on the sofa of course. My brain is fried today.

It would have been a perfect night to go home to him with carry out for dinner and we would put on our comfy clothes, eat in front of the TV then curl up on the sofa with a funny movie. That would be perfect therapy for me. Instead, I did go home after work, sat in the truck and had a good cry before making it into the house to make a wonderful taco dinner for my daughter and the evening turned out to be very nice. My girl has a way of doing that for me.

Today was Vernon's day off, what he calls his "Fifth Day". I set my alarm for 6am to give him a call. I always try to call him on his day off since it is only noon over there. Well, I called again and again and he was not home. I knew he had lots to do, like look for blinds for the kitchen door and he likes to visit his parents, and he also spends quality time with his daughter so I wasn't surprised when he didn't answer the phone. I was feeling uneasy and full of anxiety this morning and really needed to talk to him, but I knew he'd be online later because yesterday he said he would be.

I'm feeling panicked and full of anxiety today. I had trouble focusing at work and feeling the physical effects of my stress. My daughter's graduation is in less than a month. I have yet to get out the invitations, order her gift, and finances are very tight. I have good months and bad months, why does this month have to be a bad month? Next month is orientation. We still have so much to do and plan for. I want it to be perfect. She deserves a perfect graduation party. I'm telling Vernon about my feelings, my worries, and how this stress today is affecting me. I could tell he was very worried, sad, and really wanted to help me. I need him on days like this. I cried again today but had to pull myself together because I was at work and I didn't want anyone to see me crying. It's days like this that make me angry that we are so far apart, I miss him so much and I get so tired of struggling with everything by myself day in and day out. I feel alone but then he tells me he loves me and I feel so much better. I remember what I am feeling is temporary and mostly because of the frustration of planning this graduation party and fearing the empty nest, not to mention my daughter, who is my best friend, will be moving 10 hours away from me in the fall. I'm still having trouble focusing so I'm sorry if this seems a bit scattered.

I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful understanding man make me feel so loved and cared for.