Visa Update

Well, after sending out my application I have been nervous and stressed about the entire process.  My brain kept thinking horrible thoughts; "What if I missed something? What if I made a mistake on the deadline? What if I get someone who is having a really bad day, and decides to reject every application that crosses his desk?"  Well, I tortured myself for a week and a half and then I got an email. It said I had mailed my application and documents to the wrong place.

I sent everything to New York; apparently they haven't processed settlement applications since 2012. Well f**k me. I also sent the wrong kind of shipping label as they don't take hand written FedEx waybills so I made TWO BIG FAT GIANT mistakes. I forwarded Vern the email and I called my mom. I had trouble holding it together when I told her. {As I'm typing this I'm sitting in a public laundromat with my eyes filling with tears as I recall that horrible day. Hope no one notices.} Anyway, I think I made my mom cry. I  just needed my mom that day, it wasn't my intent to upset her but my parents really want Vernon and I to be happy and to be together.  I cried for days, actually lost my appetite for three days and felt like my life was over.  I will never get to be with my husband.  We will have to re-do this entire process and will have to come up with ANOTHER $1,513, but with the way the economy is going, and how the value of the dollar is getting worse, we would never be able to come up with that amount of money again.  I also pride myself in being an intelligent person and to make such a dumb mistake I was so embarrassed.  People were constantly asking me "Have you heard anything?" and I would lie and say "no".  Only a couple people new what I had done and I really didn't want anyone else to know.

Vernon, my wonderful husband, remained positive and managed to keep me from going out of my mind or slipping into a deep depression.  I got the application and paperwork back after a couple more weeks and more shipping costs. I had to go through my paperwork again because they went through everything in New York.  I put it all together again for the immigration folks in the UK and added a cover letter explaining the embarrassing error.  I went to the post office and sent it again, incurring more shipping costs to get everything to the UK and to get my originals back from the UK. THEN!... there was a mix up in Green Bay with my package because they were being dumb, and an amazing USPS employee here in Iron Mountain went above and beyond to make sure my package made it to the UK when it was supposed to.  At this point I'm feeling as if there is an evil force trying to keep me from moving to the UK.

Well, this is how the rest of this went:

• Monday, October 13: UK Immigration received my application and documents per tracking ID.
• Tuesday, October 14: I received an automated email saying they received my application.  I then received a second automated email saying I'm missing the Appendix 2. {WILL THIS NEVER END?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!} I worked on the Appendix 2 that night.  It is a 17 page document.
• Wednesday, October 15:  Finished working on the Appendix 2 and planned on emailing it from work tomorrow morning.
• Thursday, October 16, 6:30am: I received an automated email saying "A decision has been made and my passport will be shipped via UPS tracking ID blah blah blah..." 

Then all hell breaks loose. I am sobbing uncontrollably, get Vern on a hangout, I can barely talk I'm crying so hard, as I naturally assume they have denied me.  "I haven't turned in the Appendix 2 yet!" There was no deadline, it hadn't been 2 days yet. Why would they do this to us? I've worked so hard, I'm employed, I'm responsible, I deserve to live with my husband!  Why didn't they wait for the Appendix 2?  Vernon did some research while I'm hyper ventilating and crying and he's remaining unusually positive.  I think he's being crazy as there is no way they'd approved me.  My passport was picked up by UPS before I even emailed the Appendix 2 but I emailed it anyway.

• Monday, October 20: the package arrives via UPS at work. I have to wait until Vern is home from work and I go into my boss' office and start a hangout.  I open the package together with Vern, he looked like he was about to be sick and felt like this was not going to be good at all, I started to cry before I even got it open.  I found my passport and went through it... > > > > >

YUP, I GOT IT! {CRYING AGAIN}

The Visa Application

This visa application process has many steps.  After I knew I had all the information I needed I had to log into the UK Visas and Immigration site and start the process there.  I had to create an account and submit my application electronically.  Vernon was online with me in a Google Hangout and we were screen sharing so he could help me with whatever information I needed, and it was a good thing he was there.  This application took us nearly 3 hours to complete. Not sure if that is the norm or if we did a lot of talking or what but we were online with this application for quite some time.  This is not something to rush through so if you are going to do this, make sure you have plenty of time set aside and access to your sponsor or family member for any questions.  You can save the application without processing it so if you need to save it unfinished you can do that too.  It's also good to save as you go. I made the mistake of not saving which I think is one of the reasons it took us so long to get this done.  We also had to pay for our application during this time.  In US dollars it cost us $1,513.  That amount will most likely change as the currency exchange fluctuates.

After I completed the online application I had to pick a location and date to get my biometrics done.  I chose Milwaukee because I planned on being in the area in a few weeks and it would give me time to get my supporting documents together.   It is very important to print and keep these three items: 1. Your completed application. You will need it for your biometrics appointment.  2. Your biometrics appointment letter. You can't get past security without it. 3. Proof of application payment.  I don't remember if they looked at it at my biometrics appointment but you will need to send it along with your application and supporting documents.  When it came time for my appointment I arrived at the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services office in Milwaukee. (USCIS) The security was the same as at an airport. I read that phones and beverages are not allowed so I just left it all in the car.  <<<Me parked with a view of the building I have to go to.  I got there early which was REALLY REALLY smart.  When I got there I had plenty of places to park, there was no one there except one family, but maybe 10 minutes after I arrived the people started pouring in.  I showed security my US Passport (photo ID) and my appointment letter and they x-rayed my purse and went through it.  After security I was asked to stand in front of another door and wait for someone to help me.  They looked at my letter, application and photo ID, wrote something on my application and told me to have a seat and wait until my number is called.  After a short wait, my number was called, I went into another room and a very friendly woman had me clean my hands with sanitizer. She took my photo, then had me stand in front of this glass plate where she wiped my fingertips and placed my fingers on the glass.  My fingerprints appeared before my eyes on the screen in front of me. It was very cool! No ink, no mess! Everyone from security to the fingerprint lab was very professional and friendly and kept people moving along. My appointment was for 11am, but I got there before 10:30 and I was out of there before 11.

  

Finally, I had to get my supporting documents together.  I didn't put in as much time before the appointment as I should have, and then took a road trip to see my daughter the weekend after my appointment which left me only with a few days to make my copies and put all my paperwork together.  I miscalculated how  much time I would actually need to do this.  I had access to a large table where I could spread out and worked every night for 3 nights until midnight, During this time I got really sick, landing me in bed over the weekend that I was supposed to finish putting this stuff together.  I finally got it finished 2 days later than I would have liked, but I was still within the 2 week deadline after my biometrics appointment.  Remember to be mindful of the deadlines.  The paperwork ended up being 11 pounds and I spent over $100 to have it overnighted.  I also included a box and shipping label for returning my originals.  It was hectic, stressful and very emotional when that package was taken from my sight but now it's just time to sit back and wait until I hear from the UK whether my visa application is accepted or not.  They say 8-12 weeks so we'll see how it goes.

Working in the UK

As I've mentioned I am moving to England. When I told my boss he informed me that I would be able to continue working from the UK.  At first this sounded simple, just take my computer overseas and just keep doing what I'm doing.  Well, there is a lot more to think about. Should I stay on as an employee? Should I work as an independent contractor? Do I create a business? I'm not even sure.  I don't know whether to create a US LLC or a UK LLC; or if I need to create anything at all. If I create a UK LLC will that create problems for the company I work for? If I create a US LLC will I be paying double taxes? What are the pros and cons of remaining an employee? So many questions.

 I have been reaching out to various resources for help and not getting much of a response, however there is a group on Linkedin that I reached out to and they have sent me an abundance of information that I checked out.  Have some things to research yet as it was all very thorough and kind of complicated.  I have family that is willing to help me out with this stuff too but I still need to get the UK side figured out. It's difficult finding people on the UK side when I am six time zones away.  So far Linkedin has been my best resource. Vernon has reached out to a type of UK Citizen information site. Not exactly sure how they will be able to help him but it's a step into finding the right information we need.  Our goal is to make this as painless as possible for us and my employer.

My biggest fear about moving to England was not having a job.  I've always had a job, since I was a kid.  My father always talked to us kids about working hard and having a strong work ethic.  We all have this.  My mom made many sacrifices and always put us first.  My dad put in long hours and made sure we always had what we needed.  I can't imagine not having a job.  I don't understand how people who deliberately live off the government have any self worth or pride.  I've always wanted my daughter to be proud of me and I don't want her thinking that it's ok to take advantage of the government benefits.  It's ok to get help when needed, but don't ever EXPECT a handout when all you want to do is nothing.  I'll beat her ass before I let that happen.  So far she's made me a very proud mom.

When I finally get to England, it will be nice to combine our households and have that extra bit of cash needed for getting things for our home and yard, going on little weekend getaways and of course, feeding my pizza and movie habit.  I really can't wait to see how frugal I can be with grocery shopping.  I want to get into saving money and finding those sales.  I also believe in shopping local, not a big fan of the WalMarts of the world so anxious to take advantage of the local farmers' markets and shops.

Wish us luck with this entire process. Lots to do and lots to think about.  I am very grateful for being able to keep my job and excited that I will be able to work from home and have dinner with my husband every night.  I'm always looking for advice and resources regarding this employment situation so leave a comment if you have anything for us.

It's 10pm and I Should Be in Bed

I'm planning a wedding.  I'm going on no sleep because nothing is booked yet.  I'm up til 2am looking for cake ideas, music, centerpiece ideas, dresses, you name it.  Vernon doesn't want to wait until October so we agreed to pay the extra cost in airfare and do it in July.  I'm really excited about becoming his wife, but right now all I can do is cry.  He's not here.  He's been so supportive but he's not here.  I can't IM him now because he's sleeping and works in a few hours.  The reason I'm crying is because I just realized that I can't have the one thing that I have always wanted at my wedding, the thing that I have been building everything else around and that is daffodils.  I just assumed that they were grown in warm places and in green houses and they were available anytime.  I went to a florist and she tried to talk me out of them until I told her how important they were to me.  Every time I go to England in the spring, I leave here ass deep in snow and arrive in England to daffodils everywhere.  If the florist can get them she said they may be super expensive.  We can't do super expensive on anything.  I know this is a stupid thing to be upset about but Vern and I have waited 13 years for this... will be closer to 14 when the date finally gets here.  You would think I'd be able to have the flower that I want.  I thought I'd look for wholesale flowers, that came up empty too.  I want to plan something that reflects us and our personalities and daffodils are it.  Vernon is so tired when he gets home from work and I bombard him with links and questions and prices and  pictures and he doesn't complain and gives me the feedback that I need.  He feels bad he can't be here to help and I'm trying to not be obsessive but I want it to be special for him.

I've also discovered something else.  We can't be together when we buy our wedding rings.  It's like going out to buy a pair of shoes.  I'll go out and pick it out and try it on, and Vern will do the same and then we purchase them.  We are supposed to do that together and we can't.  My ring will have to be put together and Vern will need to try his on for perfect fit.  Next time I see him will be for the wedding.  This entire process has been fun but stressful and emotional.  The LDR veterans who have done this before me... I have no idea how you did it without falling apart.  I think maybe I'm just tired tonight.

It's Thanksgiving this week.  I can't be with my daughter and I can't be with Vernon.  That's got me down as well.  This is one bummer of a post and I apologize but I needed to get this out so I can go to sleep.  I'm so tired.  Thank you for listening and I promise I'll make the next post more upbeat and wedding like.

Party Like it's 1999.

This week will be 12 years. In the beginning I never thought our distant relationship would evolve into something so amazing and wonderful. Next to my daughter of course, Vernon is the best thing to happen to me. I can't imagine life without him, nor do I want to remember life before him. He is my soul mate, my partner, everything I didn't know I wanted in a man until I met him. To get more of our beginning you can check out My First Blog Post or the "About Us" tab at the top.

Other couples know exactly when their relationship started. They also know who said "I love you" first, and when. Some can even tell you the cute little story behind it. I don't really know how it happened with us?  It just happened. We started as strangers in two different countries who just wanted someone to talk to and now, 12 years later, we can't imagine life without the other. I do not regret one day, one hour, one minute or one second with him.

It was mid to late September of 1999 that I decided to write to him. And he promptly wrote back. Everything was so different back then. His youngest was 3 and both of the older kids were 7. It feels like a lifetime ago when Heidi was that young. Here is a bit of historical information from the year 1999.

*This list is by no means exactly accurate or verified. I simply Googled various websites to find this general information for entertainment purposes.



Economy
Gas: $1.25/gal   Petrol: 61p/ltr
Milk: $2.75/gal
First class US stamp: 33 cents
UK minimum wage: 3.60 pounds/hr
The Euro is introduced
WalMart buys the UK chain ASDA



Entertainment
Top movies: Matrix, Star Wars episode 1 - The Phantom Menace, American Beauty, American Pie, 6th Sense, Big Daddy, Office Space, 10 Things I Hate About You, Boondock Saints, Cruel Intentions, Notting Hill and the Blair Witch Project.
I feel 1999 was an awesome movie year. This is only a handful of them.

Best Picture: American Beauty          
Best Actor: Kevin Spacy
Best Actress: Hillary Swank



TV Shows: The Sopranos, Futurama, and The West Wing

Music: Backstreet Boys - I Want it That Way  
TLC - No Scrubs
Britney Spears - Baby One More Time
Cher - Believe
Ricky Martin - Livin La Vida Loca

Books on New York Times Best Sellers List:
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - JK Rowling
Hannibal - Thomas Harris
The Testament - John Grisham
Bittersweet - Danielle Steele
The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon - Stephen King

Sports
FIFA Women's Soccer World Cup-US defeats China in shootout
FIFA Men's Soccer World Cup-France defeats Brazil 3-0
Superbowl champs-Denver Broncos defeat Atlanta Falcons 34-19
NCAA Men's Basketball champs-Connecticut defeats Duke 77-74 (Michigan State was also in the final 4!)
World Series-New York Yankees defeats Atlanta Braves 4-0
Michael Jordan announces his retirement. (for the first time)



Technology I did a guest post on how technology has changed over the last 11 years and how it affected my long distance relationship. I'm quite proud of it. Feel free to check it out.


Businesses were starting to advertise on Dot.com businesses online.
Online auctions sites were the new rummage sales where you could bid on other people's junk..
Chinese government restricts internet use, aimed especially at internet cafes.
The Melissa Worm infects MS word processing and email systems around the world.
The Blackberry was introduced but didn't reach a million subscribers until 2004.
The world was panicked and getting ready for the predicted Y2K crash when date/time reached 010100 00:00:00. I really wasn't too concerned. Nothing happened that I know of.  My sister sold generators at the time and it was a very good year for their company.

 Politics
President of US: Bill Clinton
Prime Minister of UK: Tony Blair
President Bill Clinton begins impeachment trial in the Senate.
Pro Wrestler Jesse Ventura is sworn in as Governor of Minnesota







Other Major Events of 1999
Hurricane Floyd hammered North Carolina
Columbine High School massacre happened in Jefferson Co, Colorado
Millennium Dome opens in London.
Ladbroke Grove rail crash in West London kills 31 people.

Another big major event is worth mentioning here. On October 12, 1999 the world was able to proclaim "The 6 billionth living human in the world is born". Vernon made a beautiful post about us and it was titled 6 Billion to One, We met in September, and the world didn't reach 6 billion until October, but then One in 5 Billion 999 Million 999 Thousand 999 to One just doesn't have the same ring to it.


So many things have changed since 1999, including us and our relationship. We love each other more and more every day so after 4,380 days that's quite a lot of feelings we have for each other. Also, physically, I don't think we changed a bit... and I'm stickin' to that. 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HONEY. I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH AND HAVE CHERISHED EVERY MOMENT YOU HAVE BEEN A PART OF MY LIFE. I AM YOURS FOREVER. <3 <3 <3

Monthly Milestones - July

Another Monthly Milestone post means summer is coming to an end. I'm dreading the snow already. It's been a crappy summer with my knee being all banged up but all I can do is keep on working on it and be very careful.

I had a few things I wanted to accomplish in July. It never happened. No cleaning out the garage or anything like that took place. I'm having enough trouble keeping up with my laundry. I also didn't sign up for a class. I have no money. I'm going to lose my spot in the program if I don't register for school this semester.  I really don't want to lose the progress I've made on my degree but I'm still trying to pay off the heat bill left over from the winter. I really need a class to keep me occupied in the evenings, especially right after Heidi leaves for school which will be the beginning of September. It was an emotional, difficult miserable month. I know I'm supposed to be looking at the positives but I don't see them right now.

What are my goals for August? I don't know? I'm sitting here thinking of the things I want to accomplish and I just want to stay in bed and do nothing. I have my business trip at the end of the month which I'm nervous about because my knee still hurts when I work out. My daughter leaves for college while I'm gone and then I wont see her until either Thanksgiving or Christmas. I don't want to cry as much as I have been lately. It has kind of been a daily thing for me so I guess that's my goal for August, to stop crying so much over nothing.


Maybe I should make a daily list. Nothing major, even if it's just one item I want to accomplish. (Is that still considered a list?) Then when I complete that task or tasks on that list or non-list I will feel a sense of accomplishment and not the miserable loser that I feel like today. I am also going to make sure I work out every day... I'm calling that "Operation Metallica" because I want to be able to stand for the entire Metallica concert at my conference unlike the Stevie Wonder concert at last years conference.


In a sense, I guess I did end up with some goals for August, which will include a trip to the doctor to help me get a handle on whatever is going on with me. My outlet for all things miserable is this blog so don't worry, I'm not going anywhere.

Practical Conversations

Vernon and I are in a long distance relationship.  Not only are we in a long distance relationship, we have been in this ldr for nearly 11 years.  Our looks have changed, our personalities have changed, our kids have grown and our conversations have evolved.  We usually chat around my lunch hour or while I'm working so there are a lot of pauses due to me multi-tasking. I often have important things to discuss with Vernon because I talk to him before making any major decisions regarding anything and when I need advice on a challenge I am facing. He is my logical thinker, he knows me better than anyone else, and I trust him completely. His input is important to me as he is very intelligent and straight forward. He is honest and I love that about him. Today we were discussing taxes, credit cards, our next 2 visits and work.

Vernon was talking about his council taxes. I had no clue what that meant so I asked.  He explained something to me that resembled city property taxes. I pay rent, always have, so I've never directly had to pay property taxes, although my rent pays the taxes for the house I live in. I found that to be interesting, it's set up a little differently over there. I'd like to know more about it but today was not the day.

We also talked about credit cards. He and I share different opinions about them, his more conservative than mine, and I didn't like what he said to me, but he was being honest. We don't have to agree on everything. I hate money, I don't have enough to pay my basic bills, I have a truck to fix and I need to see the Dr. but I have more than a lot of people so I shouldn't complain.

I really want Vern to come out with his daughter, she wants to see America and I want to show her a wonderful time here, but we just don't have the money. I suggested he send her alone, but she's still a bit young and has never traveled before. He suggested I visit early 2011. I'd love to do the Christmas trip again, but not without my girl, and we can't afford 2 adults so that would mean she would have to save her money and she wont be working that many hours. So.... I'm not sure yet.  We are also planning a trip in 2012, our friends are getting married in Bristol, UK. I'm planning this trip alone, if my daughter sticks to her plan, she'll be in Australia by then. Vernon said he doesn't want to wait until 2012 to see me, and I don't want to wait either. Right now flights are super cheap, I want to nail something down soon.

We always ask each other about work. We both have challenges that we are faced with every day, him more than me. I love my job, but it can be overwhelming at times. There are days when I can't wait until I talk to him so I can tell him how I've been kickin' butt and days when I need to talk to him because I don't think I can do this anymore... he always tells me how talented and smart I am and gets me out of those ruts. I hope I'm able to do the same for him when he's frustrated with his job.

I love these talks that we have, even though we weren't very lovey dovey, we never forget to tell the other "I love you". Couples need to have these discussions in addition to the mushy ones, I think that's what makes us a serious couple. We aren't in fantasy land and have our feet on the ground, however when we are together those 2 weeks every couple of years our feet don't really touch the ground until it's time to go home. I have to say this about him, he is very disciplined when it comes to money, and if he managed mine I'd probably be in a better situation. When we were wrapping up our conversation he said to me, "I'll let you know when I win the lottery" and I replied, "Me too". That would be sweet wouldn't it?