I'm On My Way To The U.K.

I've got my plane ticket and new luggage and I'm getting ready to go live with my husband in England.  It has been a very long, expensive and difficult process but we are finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

• I have been living with my parents and then friends for a total of a year and seven months, which hasn't been easy for any of us. 
• I have submitted my letter of resignation and presented my employer with a document and resources regarding UK taxes and being an independent contractor in the UK hoping that they will need my services after I move.
• I had to apply for my settlement visa, which was probably one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. It took us months to get the proper paperwork together. For more details, see my post The Visa Application.
• I have been taking trips back and forth to my storage unit going through my things, throwing things away, giving boxes upon boxes to Goodwill. Today I had the ReStore pick up my furniture.  Months ago I even gave my truck to charity.

None of these things have been very easy for me to do but I manage to get this stuff done.  I plan on working from my UK home in the area of Salesforce consulting and administration.  I am very good at what I do and I absolutely love it! I'm hoping to find some work as a consultant or administrator when I get settled.  

My days in the US are numbered... here is what we have planned:

• Feb 1: Vernon arrives in Upper Michigan but very late in the evening.
• Feb 2: Vernon helps me move out of my friends' house.
• Feb 3: Early morning trip down to Madison, WI to spend time with my family
• Feb 10: Back to Upper Michigan to visit with friends and co-workers.
• Feb 12: Head across the UP and over the Mackinac bridge to spend time with my daughter in Kalamazoo, MI. 
• Feb 14: Visit more family in Detroit area.
• Feb 15: Non stop flight from Detroit to London. 

So there you have it. My schedule for my last few weeks here.  I'm worried I wont see everyone I want to see but I promise that I'll be back someday to visit.

There are a few things I haven't quite figured out yet. If you happen to have any advice, experience or input please let me know!

• Banking. I have yet to talk to my credit union about keeping me on as a member but we'll see what happens. I have to have an American account in order to receive payment from my American clients and take care of my ongoing American expenses.
• Mail. I've been looking at these mail scanning/forwarding companies and the security part makes me nervous.  One I've been looking at in particular is Mailbox Forwarding.  I really need to make a decision on this soon.
• Website. I need to create a website for my Independent Contractor status and I'm not even sure where to start.  I have a Google+ account and there is a way to add business information.  I need a new email address too. 

The worst part of this is leaving my daughter.  She's an adult in college and finishing up her last year but it has always been just the two of us.  Soon she will be venturing out on her own finding out who she wants to be, where she wants to live and what she wants to do.  This decision of whether to move or not has been a difficult one but Vernon has made it very clear to us that she will always be welcome to visit or stay any time she wants.  

My Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin links are located in the upper right under my profile photo if you are interested in keeping in touch or utilizing my Salesforce expertise.  

WISH ME LUCK! 

The Visa Application

This visa application process has many steps.  After I knew I had all the information I needed I had to log into the UK Visas and Immigration site and start the process there.  I had to create an account and submit my application electronically.  Vernon was online with me in a Google Hangout and we were screen sharing so he could help me with whatever information I needed, and it was a good thing he was there.  This application took us nearly 3 hours to complete. Not sure if that is the norm or if we did a lot of talking or what but we were online with this application for quite some time.  This is not something to rush through so if you are going to do this, make sure you have plenty of time set aside and access to your sponsor or family member for any questions.  You can save the application without processing it so if you need to save it unfinished you can do that too.  It's also good to save as you go. I made the mistake of not saving which I think is one of the reasons it took us so long to get this done.  We also had to pay for our application during this time.  In US dollars it cost us $1,513.  That amount will most likely change as the currency exchange fluctuates.

After I completed the online application I had to pick a location and date to get my biometrics done.  I chose Milwaukee because I planned on being in the area in a few weeks and it would give me time to get my supporting documents together.   It is very important to print and keep these three items: 1. Your completed application. You will need it for your biometrics appointment.  2. Your biometrics appointment letter. You can't get past security without it. 3. Proof of application payment.  I don't remember if they looked at it at my biometrics appointment but you will need to send it along with your application and supporting documents.  When it came time for my appointment I arrived at the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services office in Milwaukee. (USCIS) The security was the same as at an airport. I read that phones and beverages are not allowed so I just left it all in the car.  <<<Me parked with a view of the building I have to go to.  I got there early which was REALLY REALLY smart.  When I got there I had plenty of places to park, there was no one there except one family, but maybe 10 minutes after I arrived the people started pouring in.  I showed security my US Passport (photo ID) and my appointment letter and they x-rayed my purse and went through it.  After security I was asked to stand in front of another door and wait for someone to help me.  They looked at my letter, application and photo ID, wrote something on my application and told me to have a seat and wait until my number is called.  After a short wait, my number was called, I went into another room and a very friendly woman had me clean my hands with sanitizer. She took my photo, then had me stand in front of this glass plate where she wiped my fingertips and placed my fingers on the glass.  My fingerprints appeared before my eyes on the screen in front of me. It was very cool! No ink, no mess! Everyone from security to the fingerprint lab was very professional and friendly and kept people moving along. My appointment was for 11am, but I got there before 10:30 and I was out of there before 11.

  

Finally, I had to get my supporting documents together.  I didn't put in as much time before the appointment as I should have, and then took a road trip to see my daughter the weekend after my appointment which left me only with a few days to make my copies and put all my paperwork together.  I miscalculated how  much time I would actually need to do this.  I had access to a large table where I could spread out and worked every night for 3 nights until midnight, During this time I got really sick, landing me in bed over the weekend that I was supposed to finish putting this stuff together.  I finally got it finished 2 days later than I would have liked, but I was still within the 2 week deadline after my biometrics appointment.  Remember to be mindful of the deadlines.  The paperwork ended up being 11 pounds and I spent over $100 to have it overnighted.  I also included a box and shipping label for returning my originals.  It was hectic, stressful and very emotional when that package was taken from my sight but now it's just time to sit back and wait until I hear from the UK whether my visa application is accepted or not.  They say 8-12 weeks so we'll see how it goes.

The Passport

Well, in order to get the process of this Visa thing going I need a passport.  I had one, but I need to change it to my married name and it had just expired.  All I had to do was fill out the DS-82, (make sure you fit the criteria first to use this form). I got this off the Travel.State.Gov website.  Then I went to the post office and had them look over the form and take my picture.  That was fun because the lady taking my picture was pretty short, she was holding the camera over her head and had to re-do my photo about three times.  I also need two passport photos for my Visa application so I asked for extra copies and she was able to print those off too.  There is an extra fee for the passport photos.  It is not included in the passport fee.  Same government, different departments.  She cut the photo for me and stapled it to my application.  I then had to mail my application, attached photo, original Marriage Certificate (to show proof of name change), and my most recent passport with a check for $170.00 ($110.00/passport, $60.00 to expedite) and mail it all to the special expedited passports address on the application.  Super easy. Expensive, but super easy.  I'm now waiting for my passport to come back so I can continue with getting my Visa paperwork together.  Should take 2-3 weeks.  I am able to check the status if I want at the same website.

The Visa information states that I am not allowed to smile. It messes with the facial recognition software or something?  So I'm trying to keep a straight face.  The postal employee is trying to make me laugh and I did crack a smile but I'm mumbling, "I can't smile!" and he's doing this song and dance thing.  Lucky we got the picture because I was losing hope.

Because of the sudden moving situation I really haven't been focused on Visa paperwork, just the passport and getting packed and moved.  It's been stressful but I'm feeling better about the move, feel much happier in general, and really excited to be moving in with such a wonderful friend who is very accommodating and generous.

Have you or anyone you know gone through this process?  Any tips or advice for me or Vernon?  I'll take everything I can get.

We Have Been Featured on Real Size Bride!

RealSizeBride.com

Our relationship was noticed by a wedding dress website.  They are not just any wedding dress website, they specialize in plus size wedding dresses.  They wanted to celebrate love and the happiness of a Real Size Bride.  It was fun being noticed and working with them.  Take a look at their dresses, they are ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!

The blog post that was written was very nice.  My family and friends enjoyed reading it and I hope that my family of bloggers enjoy it too.  Help me thank them by sharing the blogpost and/or following their facebook page.

Their blog is full of interesting posts from plus size fashion, plus size modeling and planning weddings.  If you want to check out our article it's called "13 Year International Love Story! A Real Size Bride's LDR Advice."

My wedding planning has slowed down a bit due to the holidays but is starting to pick up again. I've posted new ideas on my Pinterest board and still on the search for more teapots.

Seven Posts of Past

Thank you Sarah @ The Ex-Pat Bride for nominating me to participate in this. I don't usually go back to my old posts and it was fun and enlightening for me to read past posts. I can't believe I have had this blog for over a year and I'm amazed at how much I've learned. I value the friendships I have made and the camaraderie amongst other bloggers. Most of all it has helped keep Vernon and I close over the 3,500+ miles that we have to face every day. Vernon enjoys my posts, and so do my family and freinds. I also hope I have given encouragement and hope to others in long distance relationships. Well, enough babbling, on with the meme.
The rules of this meme are as follows:

To unite bloggers (from all sectors) in a joint endeavor to share lessons learned and create a bank of long but not forgotten blog posts that deserve to see the light of day again.

Rules:

1) Blogger is nominated to take part

2) Blogger publishes his/her 7 links on his/her blog - 1 link for each category.

- Your most beautiful post

-Your most popular post

-Your most controversial post

-Your most helpful post

-A post whose success surprised you

-A post you feel didn't get the attention it deserved

-The post that you are most proud of

3) Blogger nominates up to 5 more bloggers to take part.

4) These bloggers publish their 7 links and nominate another 5 more bloggers

5) And so it goes on!

6) The site Trip Base will be sharing the best posts from participating bloggers on their blog and everyday on Facebook and Twitter at #My7Links

1. Most Beautiful Post:  A Castle, Shopping and a Baby! 
During my most recent trip across the pond I got to see my first castle, go shopping with one of my dearest friends and a baby was born. I couldn't have asked for a better trip.

 2. Most Popular Post:  Happy Father's Day!
I was actually surprised at how well this one is doing. It is my most popular post and still going strong. I guess this is the day of the dad. I find Vernon's dedication to his children very endearing and very sexy. He's a wonderful father.

3. Most Controversial Post:  Are You Crazy?!?!?!
I don't really write about controversial topics, but this one was full of venting. I guess I can't expect everyone to understand or accept our relationship, but I don't like being made to feel like there is something wrong with it.

4. Most Helpful Post:  Dear Kimberly:
Someone from the Loving From a Distance site reached out to me asking advice about her long distance relationship. I replied and then turned it into a blog post. She and I are now friends and she is still in her LDR. It's a bit wordy, it's not a popular post, but if someone is looking for advice on LDR's this is the post to read.


5. A Post Whose Success Surprised Me: Monthly Milestones - June
This is another meme that I participate in and is sponsored by Sarah @ The Ex-Pat Bride. I'm surprised it has done so well because it is really short and basically consists of a to-do list for the month. Nothing exciting or earth shattering.

6. A Post That Didn't Get the Attention it Deserved: Three Very Special Children
Nobody likes to read about sick kids, but I was hoping this post would have done better than it did. Two of the three children have long journeys ahead of them and they come from such amazing families. The third had had his journey and has thankfully started kindergarten. I felt like I didn't do enough for these kids, like I didn't write the article well enough to catch the interest of readers or other bloggers. But then I thought if I got them at least one donation or caused a reader to donate their money or time to a charity of their choice, then I guess I succeeded.





7. The Post I am Most Proud of:  I Have Been Featured on "The Ex-Pat Bride"!
I was really excited when Sarah @ The Ex-Pat Bride contacted me asking if I would guest post on her blog. At first I was like, "why?" I don't have many readers, I'm not special. I don't even know what I'm doing half the time as I'm trying to post these blog entries. She is one of the sweetest people that I know and was really flattering and excited to see what I came up with. I decided to write about how technology has changed in the last 11+ years and how it has affected our long distance relationship. I figured Sarah's readers are pretty young and would find this article interesting. It was more of a structured researched article as I wanted to provide Sarah with a quality post. My posts are usually random and unorganized but I want my blog to be somewhat candid.

The bloggers that I am nominating are:

Sarah @ Crafting with Sarah
Christy @ Castles, Crumpets and Craig oh my!
Betsy @ Betsy Transatlantically
Yvonne @ Welcome to my World of Poetry
Brittany @ Tales From a Sailor's Soul Mate

Guest Blogger: Sarah

I asked Sarah to write a guest post because I think she's awesome!  She too is in love with a very lucky, very charming British man. I think Chris and Vernon have to be the two luckiest blokes in England.  Sarah and Chris have been in a long distance relationship for over 3 years and they are getting married in a few months. I love keeping up on the wedding plans as she has kept her readers up to date during the entire process. I find Sarah to be very funny, intelligent and such a sweetheart. And no, we have never met, but it feels as if we have and I always look forward to reading her blog posts. Please show your appreciation for Sarah and leave some comments. She is very gracious and I consider her a friend and I know she would enjoy to read your feedback.

I also want to add that Chris proposed via YouTube video.  I lost count of how many times I have seen it, but  it always makes me cry. It won them a honeymoon to Thailand... such a deserving couple.

An American Girl’s Guide to British Men

Although Kimberly may be even more of a master on the subject, I fancy myself quite the expert when it comes to British men. I’ve lived in the UK for a total of about a year and a half and have been dating one for almost four years.

In my experience, I’ve found the American woman/Brit bloke combo works very well, and is actually more common than you may think. So for all you ladies out there thinking that you fancy yourself your very own Mr.Darcy, (that’s what I sometimes call my Fiancé) I’ve made a lovely list (list? whoops my American is showing) for you, of dos, don’ts, and things to expect before entering a relationship with one of those dashing and debonair heartthrobs. Just think Hugh Grant or Colin Firth circa Bridget Jones.

*Disclaimer: The use of stereotypes in this article are merely for humorous purposes and are based on the results of my own experiences. (i.e. FACT!)

·         DON’T get on the tube after a long walk through rainy London town and proclaim in your American voice volume standards that your pants are all wet. Pants, ladies, means underwear... as in panties. And on that note, DON’T engage him in an argument about whether or not Gerard Butler was wearing pants in 300. (That was seriously our first ever argument).

·         DON’T offer to make biscuits and gravy for breakfast. He thinks biscuits are cookies and will be thoroughly confused.

·         DON’T expect him to have a car, a degree, or a savings account. Although in America we may think these are essentials before dating anyone, they are simply not priorities in the same way in British culture.

·         DO expect to swoon after he says the simplest of sentences. For some reason I love the way he says “toilet” and “chuffed” and even “no” ... although I don’t like hearing that word too much.

·         DON’T be surprised when he drops a bucket in front of you when you tell him you are “sick”. That means barfing. You should say “ill”. And yes, no matter how used to it you get, saying the word “ill” will always make you feel pretentious, or like you are in a low budget period drama.

·         DO let him do all the navigating. He grew up riding trains and buses (both of which are still new and exciting to me) and is most likely never completely lost. Just make sure you do the actual scheduling, Americans have a better knack of time management if I do say so myself.

·         DO not feel bad for relying on him to pull you out of a sticky situation. After all, he knows how to “keep calm and carry on.”

·         DON’T expect him to help you write this post.

·         DON’T expect him to have perfect teeth. Their dentists don’t force them into braces at the slightest of over-bites.

·         DO expect to have to do math just to talk about the weather. (F/C)

·         DO expect to have different ideas of what constitutes clean carpets *cough, cough*

·         DO try not to judge when he wants to put corn on his sandwiches or pizza

·         DON’T try and drink him under the table. Even if he swears he “doesn’t drink anymore”.

·         DO expect that he will laugh when you have problems navigating the smallest of roundabouts. They are simply part of Britain’s natural landscape.

·         DO expect him to complain about any car trip that is longer than an hour (“5 hours?! We could’ve been in Scotland by then!”). Yet he can sit through an all day movie marathon.

·         DO expect that he will be whole-heartedly on board for celebrating Thanksgiving. To him, it’s basically like an early Christmas dinner that you’ll cook.

·         DO expect him to ask to use the “toilet”. He means he wants to use the sink also.

·         DO expect him to be able to write the mushiest of love letters and emails. (When he wants to).

·         DO expect that he will be willing to literally run to the store at “stupid o’clock in the morning” to buy you medicine when you have cramps. Or leave work to get a taxi and take you to the doctor when you are sick (ill).

·         DO expect that he will be willing to spend hundreds of pounds and cross the ocean to be with you, even if only for a few weeks.

·         ALWAYS expect that he’ll be able to vanquish your ever present doubts and insecurities to make you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world, (even if you are American).

·         DON’T take him for granted, he will be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Smiles!

When you are with someone long enough you can tell what your partner is thinking just by looking at his face. You can tell if he is happy, sad, confused, angry, annoyed or just plain indifferent. Some think that those of us in a long distance relationship (LDR) are at a disadvantage but I think we are at an advantage now, especially with the technology today. Since my daughter has gone off to college, Vernon and I Skype every Sunday. It is wonderful getting to see him every week. At first it was like torture, only getting to see him for a short while and then having to say goodbye, but I'm used to it now. I really look forward to my Sundays with him. Well, I think an LDR is very similar to a person who has lost one or more of his senses. If you can't see, you have very sharp hearing, or if you can't hear, you are very observant sometimes to the point of being able to read lips. Well, since I am unable to touch him and see him in 3d I have to pay attention to his facial expressions. When we are simply chatting, I have to pay attention to his words, how fast or slow they appear on the screen, even the silly little emoticons that he uses. We can tell if the other is busy, in a bad mood, troubled, or happy just from our chatting. We have personalities in the way we chat. But, when we Skype I have the ability to see his face. Vernon has this smile that makes me melt and feel like I am so very loved and he looks like he's thinking that he's the luckiest man in the world. (As he very well should. LOL) It's a simple smile, I could be talking away about a stupid story or just sitting there and he just smiles at me with that very specific smile. If you are blessed enough to be with your partner every day, pay attention to what they are saying, how they are saying it, their facial expressions. Don't be distracted with what is going on around you. Just look at each other, enjoy each other and appreciate each other. It's easier than you think.

Dear Kimberly:

I was honored to have received a question from a college student who has been in an LDR for less than a year. She said my story was inspiring and she wanted advice. If she were my daughter, what would I say? I only know this girl from her very short email and I care for her already. Well, this blog post will be lengthy but this is the advice I gave her. I shall refer to her as "Miss College Student".

Dear Kimberly,
Me and my Bf have been exclusively together for a little less then a year and he asked me to me his gf recently. i know a short time but im in love with him and he says he loves me too ... I guess im drawn to your story because im in college a still have about 2 years left of undergrad and then im off to grad school hoping and praying i get into a school closer to him. My question is what advice can you Give me about making My long distance relationship last for the long haul like yours because it scares me to death to think about loosing him and after reading your background story and your LDR of 11 years im so impressed because everywhere else ive read says LDRs dont work and you give/gave me so much hope any advice you are willing to give me on ANYTHING (especially staying happy when Your SO isn't there with you and to cope with the distance) to do with the whole LDR situation would b much appreciated...
Thank You so much,
Miss College Student

Dear Miss College Student,

First of all, I don't wish anyone to be in an LDR for as long as I have.. it's tough. But, we are both older and have kids and being that we are loving responsible parents, we put our kids first. I don't regret a micro-second of our relationship as he is so very good to me and I wouldn't change a thing except the distance.

First, be sure to put your education first. NEVER sacrifice your education for a relationship, especially one so new. I can't stress that enough. You mentioned that you hope to go to grad school near him, if you were at this particular school, would you still be happy and successful at this school if your relationship didn't work out? You are at the time in your life when you have to put yourself first.

Now, what do we have that unsuccessful relationships don't have?

!. Friendship. We started out as friends. We weren't looking for anything. It just happened. We met online and only communicated in writing and emails and the occasional phone call with a prepaid calling card.( You may not even know what that is. LOL) Before the technology we have today. Amazing how much it has changed in the last 11 years!

2.Respect. He respects who I am, my beliefs, my reasons for not moving out there 9 years ago, my drive to move ahead in my career and the goals I have of constantly bettering myself. He does not want to be the person to hold me back, nor do I want to do that for him. He makes me want to be a better person, and I do the same for him.

3.Trust. This should really be number one. If I call him or log onto Yahoo Instant Messenger and he's not there, my thoughts have never gone to "HE'S WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!" and then grill him the second I see him online again. That will drive you crazy. You need to trust each other. If he is grilling you, there is a trust issue and you need to work that out otherwise you wont last. I had a male friend who I spent an entire summer with and I would tell Vernon everything about it. He eventually told me that he was jealous of this guy because he got to spend so much time with me. I stopped talking about my friend and cut down on spending so much time together with him out of respect for Vernon. I do feel men and women can be friends, but group outings are appropriate where extended one on one time isn't, especially when one or both are in a relationship.

4. Keep things interesting. Just because you are in an LDR doesn't mean you can't do fun things together. This website (www.lovingfromadistance.com) has so many awesome ideas. Vern was down several months ago, I bought a pack of "I LOVE YOU" postcards and sent him one every few days. You get the stamps ahead of time, even if he is international you don't have to mess around with customs documents or weights. Just one stamp and a postcard. It's amazing what that can do! Now with facebook, youtube, skype, your options are limitless.... I created a blog, I make videos, I send him photos and emails and still do the postcard thing. We also Skype on Sundays and I always look nice, I wear his favorite color, and we enjoy each other.

5. Communicate. Communication is very important. I'm lucky to have such a wonderful man who isn't afraid to say what he is feeling and listens to me say what I am feeling. We discuss issues, problems, concerns and share our good days and bad days. Sometimes he is strong for me and then I am strong for him. It's not all flirting and talking about gas prices and weather.

6. Honesty. This is as important as Trust. Vernon was honest with me about how me spending so much time with another single man made him feel. He didn't let it fester and then let it come out in anger. He cannot read your mind, don't expect him to. Men can't do it when they are living with us and they can't do it when far away. I think that is an unfair expectation we put on guys.

7. We promised each other that we would NEVER hang up on the other, disconnect from internet, or refuse to log on or call out of anger. That is damaging and unproductive. It's like couples who go to bed angry and don't talk to each other. If you need a break, discuss it, give yourselves a specific time frame, and reconnect when that time frame is up. If you need more time, set it then. Otherwise one is afraid to reach out to the other because he thinks you are angry or vice versa and you are getting sick because you don't know if you have been dumped.... I think we've only maybe had one disagreement that would qualify as a fight, but I don't think he'd even call it a fight. We didn't sign off angry, we always say "I love you."

8.I've gone on long enough, I love talking about our relationship, but I would have to say Appreciate each other. Don't dwell on the fact that he's not here or you are not there. That part sucks, but you have a special person in your life, and eventually your lives will merge together. I don't know your faith, but I feel God brings people together for a specific purpose and of all the people in the world He brought you two together. You are young, you are going to go to grad school and you can have such a wonderful, high quality life  and still have a long future together. I still have my days where I can't stop crying because I miss him so much. With a 6 hour difference and limited phone contact I can't just pick up the phone and call or text him like couples do when in the same country. You will feel like the luckiest person in the world, and you will feel like everything sucks. I'm not going to lie. But, focus on the big picture, you will get through those sad lonely times focusing on finishing school and planning for your future.

The best of luck to you both. I want to follow your journey and be there for you when things feel like they really really suck. Michelle and Frank (at www.lovingfromadistance.com) are also a wonderful resource for any questions or advice. They are putting education/career first, they are closer to your age, and you may think I'm full of hot air.. I don't know. Not all LDR's end in flames. There are a lot of happy couples on this site. Try to steer clear of any negativity. Also, you will get negativity from those who are close to you. Don't let them cause you doubt. I actually had another male friend tell me I was CRAZY to think that Vernon was being loyal to me, I was just naive. "All men cheat" instead of believing him, I felt sorry for him. He and I are not really friends anymore either. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. Hang tough! Love yourself! And enjoy your new relationship!

Lots of love,

KimberlyJ

     

Love Songs and Seriousness

I was thinking of songs today. A friend posted the song "When You Say Nothing At All" from the movie "Notting Hill". There were clips of the movie with the song as well. It just so happens that this movie is a favorite of mine and Vernon's. Also, this song is
wonderful. My baby girl is in college and she took the DVD player but I have "Notting Hill" on VHS so it's all good.


Vernon and I had a serious chat today. I'd rather we didn't have to have talks like this but it is necessary. We have been together for 11 years (this month!) and when I have a purchase to make, a problem, a decision coming up, or just happy wonderful news, I run it by Vernon. I get his input, advice and feedback. He does the same with me. He is going through a very difficult time right now and I was very honest and firm and it made me sad but it had to be done. I always risk having him get mad at me, (although I don't think he's ever been mad at me), when I am honest with him and we  
don't exactly see eye to eye. I don't think he would ask me for my opinion or input if he wanted me to just smile and agree with him, so I tell him how I feel and what I think. But, no matter what the problem, no matter what our views are and if he follows my advice or not, I support him completely and trust that he is making the right decision. It's times like this I wish I could be there to help him through this, sit up with him at night and let him talk things over, and use me as a sounding board. I would rub his shoulders, make him his late night hot chocolate or tea and tell him that everything will be OK.